As the festive season approaches, a fierce culinary debate is simmering, and one Guardian editor is strapping on her armour for a fight. Katy Guest, a deputy editor for Guardian Opinion and a style guide editor, has declared her unwavering stance: meat and fruit should never, ever be served on the same plate.
The Battle Lines Are Drawn
Guest describes herself as a "grumpy old woman in the prime of my pedantry," no stranger to defending arbitrary hills. She has previously clashed with pavement hoggers and debated the definition of 'real sport' in hostile pubs. Yet, the prospect of Christmas dinner fills her with a particular dread, centred on one reviled combination: roast turkey accompanied by cranberry sauce.
To Guest, this classic festive condiment is nothing more than "jam on your Christmas dinner." Her belligerence on the subject knows no bounds, and she extends her prohibition far beyond the Christmas table. The common pairing of pork with apple sauce? She is unequivocal. "Bacon is for a sandwich and stewed apple goes in pie or in babies – they do not belong in the same bite," she asserts.
No Exceptions for the 'Perverts'
Guest anticipates the objections and pre-emptively shuts them down. Duck à l'orange? "Put it down you weirdo, you're not even French." The suggestion of lamb with redcurrant jelly is met with a "hard no," while mango chutney on curry induces a "massive boak." She sincerely hopes no Guardian reader would dare whisper the phrase "ham and pineapple pizza."
Colleagues have tried to find loopholes, suggesting Coronation chicken or dishes with figs. One individual proposed prosciutto and melon, though a typo initially made it 'prosciutto and lemon,' which Guest admits gave her pause. She warns that accepting any exception would be "the thin end of the wedge."
A Clear Separation of Courses
Guest is quick to clarify that her stance is not born of a dislike for either food group. "I love meat – ideally with gravy – and then fruit, for pudding," she writes. She happily enjoys fruit on its own terms, from a crunchy apple to a blackberry crumble. The rule is purely about keeping them segregated during the main course.
For her, traditional savoury pairings are the only way: lamb belongs with mint, ham with mustard, and turkey with a side like coleslaw. She does, however, carve out one notable exemption for the humble burger, which she says should be served with plenty of ketchup. Her reasoning? A tomato "identifies as a vegetable and should be accommodated as such." And that, she declares, is another hill she is fully prepared to die on.
In a world of endless food fusion, Katy Guest's stubborn, humorous defence of her culinary red lines offers a pedantic rallying cry for purists everywhere.
