Comedian Katherine Ryan has broken her years-long silence regarding the father of her 16-year-old daughter Violet, delivering a candid critique of his limited involvement and financial support. The 42-year-old entertainer, who has never publicly identified Violet's father, revealed she no longer feels compelled to protect his reputation now that her daughter is old enough to form her own opinions.
No More Biting Her Tongue
Speaking on the Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald podcast this week, Ryan explained her previous restraint. "I've been careful never to s**g him off just because I don't think it's the right thing to do," she stated. "And I really protected him while my daughter was young. I would never say anything bad about him."
However, with Violet now 16, Ryan feels her daughter can see the reality for herself. "Unfortunately, he's not a bad person, but he's never made any sacrifices, never paid anything for her, just kind of texts her, which I think is breadcrumbing," she revealed. "Like, 'Hey, love you. How are you?' Which is better than no contact. But he hasn't been the type of dad that you would want for your daughter."
Minimal Involvement Confirmed
When directly questioned about the father's involvement in Violet's life, Ryan responded simply: "Not really." This marks a significant departure from her previous public statements, where she had always been measured in her comments about co-parenting.
In her 2019 Netflix special Glitter Room, Ryan had declared: "He's my child's dad, and for that reason I shall never say a bad word about him." Her latest comments represent a complete reversal of that position, with the mother-of-four not holding back her true feelings.
Joking About Low-Effort Parenting
Ryan even joked that she would excel at the level of parenting demonstrated by Violet's father. "I think I would be a great dad. Like, a non-contact parent. Because it's so easy," she quipped. "All you have to do with a teenage girl is drive to the mother's house, send her a text, and go, 'Do you want to come get a Starbucks with me?'"
The Duchess star, who has three younger children with her husband Bobby Kootstra, elaborated on her perspective. "It's all they have to do. 'If not, I'll go get you a Starbucks. I'll drop it off. You come to the car, I'll give it to you, say, 'hey, how are you? I love you. Here's your Starbucks, bye.' No pressure."
Parental Responsibilities
Ryan expressed frustration with fathers who complain about their teenage children. "I've heard so many dads go, 'Well, she's using me for rides. I don't get anything back.' The flow goes one way - parent to child. There's nothing they [children] can do wrong. Just make yourself available, make some type of sacrifice."
She concluded sadly: "Unfortunately, my daughter doesn't have the dad that I would want her to have."
Relationship Struggles
Ryan revealed that her relationship with Violet's father - another Canadian comedian she met on the comedy circuit - was already troubled before their daughter's birth. "We weren't really good even before that," she explained. "So as soon as I had her, I was like, oh gosh, I'm going to have to make a go of this myself."
She saw stand-up comedy as compatible with single motherhood. "I thought that being a stand-up comedian was conducive to single motherhood because you can be home in the day. And then when they're sleeping..."
Early Touring Years
Ryan took Violet with her everywhere during her early career. "[Violet] came everywhere with me. The UK is so amazing for stand-up because it is small, but there are gigs in all these towns and cities every night of the week. So I started touring properly, like a small tour, when she was three or four."
Personal Growth
The comedian reflected on her younger self's tendency toward dysfunctional relationships. "I didn't have that confidence. I was like, you're broke? I can fix that for you. You have mental health issues and addiction? I'm a firstborn daughter, so leave it to me."
Ryan eventually found stability with her husband Bobby Kootstra, her Canadian high school sweetheart. They reconnected in 2018 while she was filming an episode of the BBC ancestry series Who Do You Think You Are? in her hometown of Sarnia, Ontario.
The couple now share three children together: son Fred, four, and daughters Fenna, three, and Holland, four months. Ryan gave birth to Holland in October 2025, completing their family while continuing to build her successful comedy career.
