The festive season brings more than just mince pies and mulled wine - it's one of the busiest periods in the dating calendar, and navigating it can prove particularly challenging for singles.
According to Mel Schilling, dating expert and star of hit matchmaking series Married At First Sight, Christmas intensifies both relationships and family dynamics. "It can be a hard time to be single," she reveals. "Facing those parties and lunches as the only one without a partner, dealing with relatives' questions about your love life - it can be genuinely draining and deflating."
This pressure drives many singles to actively seek partners during the festive period, not necessarily to bring home for Christmas dinner but simply to have an answer for inquisitive relatives like Great Aunt Maud.
Why Modern Dating Feels Harder Than Ever
Schilling confirms what many singles already suspect: "It's harder to date than ever in 2025." The rapid pace of change in dating culture presents particular challenges for those emerging from long-term relationships or marriages.
"The challenge here is human driven," she explains. "It's the way our behaviours are changing, and what we're being taught to tolerate is my concern."
Recent Google research highlights this shifting landscape, revealing that Brits encounter approximately two new dating trends monthly, ranging from 'icks' and 'breadcrumbing' to various forms of 'ghosting'.
Seven Crucial Red Flags Every Single Should Recognise
Schilling advises festive daters to arm themselves with knowledge. "Go with an open heart, but also use your head," she recommends, highlighting these key warning signs:
1. Understanding Global vs Personal Red Flags
Global red flags represent universal turn-offs that should concern everyone, regardless of age, background or orientation. These include glorifying violence or displaying disrespectful behaviour towards you or others.
Personal red flags, however, connect directly to your core values. If integrity ranks highly for you and your date demonstrates lying or inconsistent storytelling, that constitutes a personal red flag.
2. The Danger of Ghostlighting
This manipulative combination merges ghosting with gaslighting. The perpetrator disappears for weeks or months, then resurfaces denying your previous connection existed.
"They might claim 'We weren't dating' or accuse you of being 'overly emotional'," Schilling warns. Some even insist they warned you about their disappearance beforehand, making you question your memory.
3. Recognising Lovebombing Tactics
Lovebombing involves showering someone with excessive affection, flattery and gifts to create intense emotional dependency. "It feels wonderful initially," Schilling acknowledges, "particularly if you've been single long-term or experienced poor treatment previously."
However, this behaviour focuses on power rather than genuine connection. The lovebomber builds you up only to break you down, withdrawing affection to manipulate you until your self-esteem depends entirely on their occasional crumbs of attention.
Watch for individuals who move excessively fast - showering gifts, declaring love within weeks, or pushing to move in together quickly.
4. Leveraging AI for Dating Insights
Feeling embarrassed to consult friends about dating concerns? Schilling suggests turning to Google AI. "Explain what's happening and ask 'What does it mean?'" she recommends. The AI will scour internet resources to provide comprehensive information about concerning behaviours.
5. The Power of Dating With Support
Schilling strongly advocates "dating with a crew". Partner with another single friend to schedule simultaneous dates in different locations. Arrange specific time windows (like 6pm-8pm) and meet afterwards for instant debriefing.
This approach offers both entertainment and mental health benefits, preventing overthinking spirals and helping validate experiences through shared perspective.
6. Establishing Personal Boundaries
Create a private contract with yourself outlining your boundaries. Before dates, document what physical acts you feel comfortable with and sign this personal agreement.
"When you're in the heat of the moment, it becomes easy to let someone cross your boundaries," Schilling notes. "Having that written reminder provides crucial reinforcement when hormones and pressure cloud judgement."
7. Trusting Your Instincts
Schilling emphasises listening to your gut feelings. While communication frequency varies between couples, fundamental behavioural patterns reveal true interest levels.
"If someone is genuinely interested, they will demonstrate it through actions," she states. "They will text back and arrange subsequent dates."
She cautions against rationalising red flags as mere pink flags, noting we often dress them up with excuses about work pressures or personal circumstances.
Additional Warning Signs
Schilling highlights two further concerning behaviours:
White lies: From filtered profile pictures to minor deceptions, deceit in any form matters. "Why begin a relationship with dishonesty?" she questions. "Seek authentic connection from the outset."
Ex-bashing: How someone discusses former partners reveals their character. Disrespectful comments about exes signal immaturity and represent significant red flags, whereas respectful discussion demonstrates emotional maturity.
Mel Schilling has partnered with Google to demonstrate how AI Mode in Google Search helps Brits navigate the ever-evolving dating landscape and understand emerging trends.
