The Hidden Struggle of a Footballer: Tony Powell's Journey from Secrecy to Freedom
On a spring afternoon in Los Angeles, Tony Powell, now 78, reflects on his past with a quiet ache in his English accent, preserved after 45 years in America. "I hated it," he says of his time as a secretly gay professional footballer for Bournemouth and Norwich in the 1970s. Powell, once a husband, father of two young daughters, and Norwich's player of the season in 1979, lived a double life, forced to bury his true self for decades. "I just wanted to be who I am, but at that time it was not a good idea to come out," he admits, highlighting the pain he endured without making a fuss.
A Rare Brotherhood: Connecting with Robbie Rogers
Powell is joined by Robbie Rogers, the former USA international who played for Leeds and Stevenage in 2012-13. Rogers, 40 years younger, understands the hurt with bruising clarity as a gay man and former professional footballer. In their conversation, Rogers shares his own fears: "I kept it completely secret. I was so afraid it would get out and I'd have no control and people would be whispering in the locker room." This bond underscores the isolation both men felt, with Powell acknowledging, "At times, yes, it felt like there was no one you could talk to. It was difficult."
The Legacy of Justin Fashanu: A Tragic Pioneer
Powell and Rogers belong to a small group of male footballers who have come out as gay, a list that includes Justin Fashanu, Powell's teammate at Norwich from 1978 to 1981. Powell, a central defender who played 275 games for Norwich, remembers Fashanu as "a very good footballer and a really nice guy." He knew Fashanu was gay but says, "He didn't want to talk about it. He thought if he came out as gay his career would be over. So he was scared." Fashanu's story ended tragically; after coming out in 1990 and facing abuse, including being called an "outcast" by his brother John, he took his own life in 1998.
Escape to America: A New Life in West Hollywood
In the early 1980s, Powell moved to the US to continue his career, a decision that led to a physical and emotional journey. He came out in a new country but made the drastic choice to cut ties with his family in England for 35 years, fearing they would shun him. "When I came to the US it was like setting myself free in lots of ways," he says. Yet, he still hid his sexuality while playing for the San Jose Earthquakes and Seattle Sounders, noting, "It's just not accepted. You can't be a professional soccer player and be gay."
Powell ended up in West Hollywood, explaining, "Because it was gay. People go to West Hollywood because they feel safe." He spent 25 years at the Holloway Motel, first as its manager and then as its last occupant before it closed in September. "I miss it," he says wistfully. "It was a fun place."
The Documentary: Reuniting with Family and Healing Wounds
A new feature-length documentary, The Last Guest at the Holloway Motel, co-directed by Ramiel Petros and Nick Freeman, with Rogers as a producer, tells Powell's story. The film captures his emotional reunion with his two sisters and brother in England, facilitated by the directors. Powell's daughters, who were deeply hurt by his disappearance, chose not to be filmed but have reconciled with him. "It was good," Powell says. "They were accepting and our love for one another was there even after all they'd gone through."
Petros describes meeting Powell: "I'd see this stranger on a balcony of what seemed an abandoned building. He always looked serious and grumpy." After learning Powell was a former footballer, the project evolved into a poignant portrait of his life. Rogers adds, "One of the greatest things about this documentary is that Tony now has a real relationship with his daughters and sisters. We're so proud of that."
Personal Loss and Empathy: Caring for Loved Ones
Powell's tenderness is evident in his care for David Castro, the love of his life who died from AIDS. Powell cared for him at home rather than in a hospice, showing the same compassion he extended to others, like Erica, a trans woman and his assistant manager at the motel. Powell helped Erica accept herself, saying, "She had the courage to come out."
The Future for Gay Footballers: A Grim Outlook
Despite progress, both Powell and Rogers express pessimism about the prospects for gay footballers in English football. Rogers says, "I've heard this from different people over the years – everyone is too afraid." Powell adds, "Not really. It's too difficult to come out and get accepted, especially in the Premier League. Nothing's really changed. It's still a homophobic league." They hope for change but acknowledge the ongoing challenges.
The Last Guest at the Holloway Motel is screened at the NFT in London as part of the BFI Flare film festival on 22 and 24 March, offering a moving insight into Powell's extraordinary story.
