Governor Newsom's Memoir Exposes Marriage Breakdown During Historic San Francisco Weddings
California Governor Gavin Newsom has revealed in his new memoir that his marriage to Kimberly Guilfoyle was effectively over in 2004, a realization that crystallized as he defied state and federal law to officiate same-sex weddings during his early tenure as San Francisco mayor. The couple, who married in December 2001 and divorced in January 2005, experienced a relationship that Newsom describes as fundamentally incompatible from the start.
The Winter of Love Revelation
In his book Young Man in a Hurry: A Memoir of Discovery, Newsom writes that while presiding over San Francisco's "Winter of Love" in 2004—when he authorized same-sex marriages despite legal prohibitions—he witnessed something profound in those unions that was absent from his own marriage. "I saw something in those marriages that I did not see in my own," he confessed. Among those married during this period were several of Newsom's aides and comedian Rosie O'Donnell to Kelli Carpenter, though those couples have since divorced.
Newsom attributes the demise of his relationship with Guilfoyle to their parallel, ambitious career paths that left little room for genuine connection. "Three days after I had been sworn in as mayor, Kimberly flew to New York to start a new job as a host for Court TV," he recalled. Guilfoyle's career trajectory would eventually lead her to Fox News and right-wing political circles that starkly contrasted with their shared liberal San Francisco upbringing.
Family Reservations and Unspoken Doubts
Newsom's family members harbored early reservations about the pairing. His sister Hilary kept her doubts private for years before finally expressing them. "She was smart, quite smart, but not my type of gal," Hilary is quoted as saying in the book. "She was a little over-the-top. Overdone style. She was never not put together, but understatement was not one of her attributes."
The governor's mother, Tessa, maintained a polite facade during the couple's December 2001 wedding, which featured a ceremony at St. Ignatius Church followed by a reception at the Getty mansion. "My mother was of the mind that the marriage between Kimberly and me would not last, but she chose to hide those feelings from me," Newsom wrote. However, she did not conceal these feelings from Guilfoyle herself.
A Tragic Family Moment and Relationship Strain
The relationship faced additional strain when Newsom's mother, battling aggressive metastatic breast cancer, chose doctor-assisted suicide in 2002 at age 55. Guilfoyle was absent during this family moment, having visited just one day earlier when Tessa confronted her about problems she had observed in the marriage. "She had visited a day earlier, only to have my mother scold her about things she'd seen in our marriage. Kimberly left in tears," Newsom recalled. "Mom had finally found a voice, it seemed."
Newsom acknowledges that the relationship problems were not one-sided. His sister Hilary observed, "I saw a lot of adoration from her to you, Gavin. But less from you to her." His mother worried that Newsom brought "a kind of passivity into the relationship, a 'go along to get along,' that was itself a devil's bargain." This tendency manifested in what Newsom calls the "embarrassing" 2004 Harper's Bazaar photo shoot where the couple was photographed sprawled on a rug in formalwear at the Getty mansion, labeled the "new Kennedys."
The Inevitable Divorce and Aftermath
"I gave only a little of myself to Kimberly. Instead of regretting this, I kept wishing I could have given a lot more to my dying mother," Newsom wrote. "The fairy tale of the new Kennedys was not to be. The distance between Kimberly and me became a breach, and the breach widened into a chasm that could not be repaired."
The couple announced their divorce in January 2005. "When it was time to part after four years of marriage, we parted about as amicably as two people could," Newsom said.
Post-Divorce Lives and Political Trajectories
Following their separation, Guilfoyle dated Donald Trump Jr from 2018 to 2024, eventually becoming engaged to him. President Donald Trump appointed her as U.S. Ambassador to Greece as news emerged of Trump Jr's new relationship with Palm Beach socialite Bettina Anderson, whom he is now set to marry.
Newsom, after what he describes as a period of bachelorhood he "did not handle with discernment," married actress and documentary film director Jennifer Siebel Newsom in 2008. The couple now has four children together.
The memoir, widely seen as a precursor to a potential 2024 presidential bid, offers candid insights into Newsom's personal and political evolution, revealing how his early defiance of marriage laws not only made history but also exposed the fundamental flaws in his own relationship.
