Jon Stewart Criticises Politicisation of USA Hockey Olympic Victory
Jon Stewart returned to The Daily Show on Monday night, just a day after the US Olympic men's hockey team secured a dramatic overtime win against Canada, claiming the country's first gold medal since 1980. "This country is in such emotional turmoil right now," Stewart remarked. "A feeling that we are one nation divided, under siege. That perhaps we have crossed a Rubicon of this great American experiment, and that we, slowly and inexorably, are sliding into the abyss of fallen and broken democracies. But then!"
He played a clip of the winning goal by 24-year-old Jack Hughes, exclaiming, "I know the powerful elites remain unaccountable, but he put that thing behind that other guy!" Stewart added, "This country was sinking into a cesspool we can't recover from, but the vulcanized rubber disk went past the lord of the net. It was so unifying. There is nothing that can take away from the joyous moment as all Americans celebrate this incredible – wait, what the fuck?"
FBI Director's Involvement Sparks Controversy
Stewart then showed footage from the locker room celebration, where FBI Director Kash Patel, appointed by Donald Trump, was seen drinking beer with a gold medal around his neck. "Is that FBI Director Kash Patel?" Stewart fumed. "And why are they putting a medal around the neck of FBI Director Kash Patel? Is Kash Patel a Make-a-Wish man? Kid? Is that what this is? And I'm not trying to diminish his condition. Listen, there is currently no cure for crazy eyes."
Supreme Court Strikes Down Trump's Tariffs
Later in his monologue, Stewart addressed the Supreme Court's 6-3 ruling that declared Trump's controversial tariffs unconstitutional. "Somebody finally had the balls to say they were illegal," said Stewart. "A court composed mostly of his own party's appointees has struck down the constitutionality of Trump's go-it-alone tariff regime. That's bound to cause him some introspection."
However, Trump responded on Truth Social, calling the Supreme Court a "disgrace to our nation" and suggesting the justices were an "embarrassment" to their families. Stewart joked, "When a guy who had sex with a porn star right after his wife had given birth tells you you're an embarrassment to your family, I think you have to take that seriously."
Other Late-Night Hosts Weigh In on Tariffs and Distractions
Jimmy Kimmel's Take on Trump's Legal Defeat
On Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the host returned after a week off, noting, "We were gone one week, and he's now at war with the Supreme Court. He's threatening a real war with Iran. He's firing off tariffs, 10%, 15%, he's got the FCC threatening talkshows. He's threatening Netflix. He's all of a sudden threatening to release the UFO files. And it really makes you stop and wonder: what the hell could be in those 3m Trump-Epstein files they're still hiding?"
Kimmel added, "He's working so hard to distract us. The only thing he hasn't done is set his nipples on fire." He also relished the Supreme Court's dismissal of Trump's tariffs, calling it "Donald Trump's most humiliating legal defeat, even more than the one with the porn star, where he farted through the whole trial."
Kimmel explained that Trump lashed out at his handpicked justices, calling them "fools and lapdogs" and an "embarrassment to their families." He quipped, "And as father to Eric and Don Jr, that is man who knows an embarrassment to his whole family." Kimmel concluded by noting the confusion over refunds for tariffs, saying, "And of course, Donald Trump doesn't give refunds. If he gives a refund, it's like when Rumpelstiltskin says his own name. He shrivels up and he disappears."
Stephen Colbert Mocks Supreme Court Ruling
Stephen Colbert on The Late Show said, "Justices, you've done something truly historic. You've made people go 'woohoo!' about tariffs." He explained the 6-3 ruling went "along douchebag lines," with the dissent from Samuel Alito, Clarence Thomas, and Brett Kavanaugh – "or as they're known by their DJ names, Flagman, Mr RV and the Boof Crew."
Colbert highlighted Chief Justice John Roberts' majority opinion, which stated, "The president asserts the extraordinary power to unilaterally impose tariffs of unlimited amount, duration and scope ... He must identify clear congressional authorization to exercise it." Colbert quipped, "Do you hear that, Mr President? Your tariffs are so illegal, the Supreme Court just ordered you to exercise."
He noted Trump's angry Truth Social post, calling it "longer than the Unabomber's user agreement," where Trump attacked the justices as "fools" and "lapdogs" swayed by foreign interests. Colbert added sarcastically, "And Trump has been very clear that he will not be swayed by foreign interests. Only by foreign golden planes, foreign golden crown and foreign Fifa peace prize."
Seth Meyers on Trump's Reading Habits and UFOs
On Late Night, Seth Meyers mocked Trump's claim that he read the entire Supreme Court decision, quoting Trump as saying, "I read all the paragraphs ... I read everything there is to read, and I said, 'Can't lose this case.'" Meyers deadpanned, "Man, that's how you know someone's a book lover – when they read all the paragraphs. It sounds like an alien pretending to be a high school sophomore."
Speaking of aliens, Meyers referenced Trump teasing the release of government documents on UFOs, saying, "And if you're wondering why he would release that now, I will point you to a clip from this show a few months ago." He played a clip from July where he predicted, "I honestly think we're one more Epstein story away from Trump announcing that UFOs are real."
Meyers concluded, "Look, look, look, I do not have the ability to predict the future. But just in case I have magic powers, let me just say – because you know more is coming – that we're one Epstein story away from Trump saying, 'I don't think I'm good at this job. I don't want to do it any more. I'm tired all the time. Nobody likes me. And on top of that, my hand is so fucked up, you guys.' And with that said: 'Now we just sit back and wait.'"
