Andy Burnham was sworn in as Makerfield MP on Monday, greeted by cheers from Labour benches, paving the way to become prime minister. The King of the North is set to be crowned Labour leader without an election contest after main rival Wes Streeting announced he would not stand. Burnham could become PM within weeks after Sir Keir Starmer promised an “orderly handover of power”.
New National Dish
Chicken tikka masala is widely considered the national dish of the UK, but Burnham has a clear vision for food. When asked by Mumsnet about his favourite, he replied: “I don't have a sweet tooth and don't eat biscuits. But give me a beer and chips and gravy any day.” Expect chips and gravy to become the new national dish, with a focus on avoiding soggy chips.
New National Sport
Burnham, an Everton fan and former honorary chairman of the Leigh Centurions rugby league team (now Leigh Leopards), was president of the Rugby Football League from July 2018 to summer 2019. Making rugby league the national sport would boost international relations, as Australian PM Anthony Albanese is also a big fan, and it is the national sport of Papua New Guinea.
Meal Time Decision
Burnham hopes to unite the nation by answering the burning question: what to call the three daily meals. He is expected to enshrine in law that it is breakfast, dinner, and tea. 'Lunch' may be acceptable for lighter meals, but jail time could be announced for those who call their tea 'dinner'.
New National Anthem
As a sitting MP, Burnham has sworn allegiance to the King, but as a northerner, he has a fantastic taste in music. As Greater Manchester Mayor, he played charity DJ sets. On the campaign in Makerfield, he was asked if he preferred Oasis or The Courteeners, unable to split them. Don't be surprised to see Wonderwall named as the new national anthem.
VAR Banned
Die-hard Evertonian Burnham previously said he would ban Video Assistant Referees (VAR) in football if it were up to him. He stated: “Gone. Get rid. It's killing spontaneity. I'm a season ticket holder at Everton. You can't celebrate a goal because you think someone in an industrial unit is going to rule it out. So that's a bad thing. But number two, it doesn't get decisions right. You could put up with it if it then got decisions right, but it doesn't.”
Corrie on the Curriculum
The country's favourite soap, Coronation Street, would be shown in schools so children can learn to talk properly. Within two generations, northern accents would become dominant in the UK, completing the legacy of the King of the North. Everton retro shirts will be mandatory for PE lessons.
