After three decades in the matchmaking industry, Perth-based expert Louanne Ward has declared 2025 one of the most emotionally unproductive periods for singles in recent memory. Her stark assessment is backed by global data showing a troubling disconnect: while nearly half of all single adults actively seek a long-term partner, fewer are succeeding, despite record usage of dating applications.
The Anatomy of Modern Dating Discontent
Louanne Ward observes that the quest for romance, once fuelled by curiosity and optimism, now feels increasingly transactional, exhausting, and disposable for many. Instead of forging meaningful bonds, individuals find themselves trapped in cycles of ambiguous 'situationships', endless swiping, and emotional detachment. According to Ward, the core issue is not a simple matter of bad luck or limited choice. The problem lies in a set of shared, modern behaviours that quietly sabotage potential connections before they can properly form.
"It's almost like the game changed in slow motion," Ward reflected, describing a year marked by widespread emotional unavailability, burnout, avoidance, and the pervasive hunt for the 'ick'. She argues that while dating apps are often blamed, the real crisis runs much deeper. "People think it's about finding the right person, but more often it's about becoming the person who can sustain a healthy connection," she stated.
Ten Key Pitfalls Sabotaging Love Lives
Ward has identified ten predominant reasons why singles are struggling to find lasting relationships in the current climate. These behavioural patterns have become significant barriers to connection:
- Dating app fatigue and burnout
- Hypersensitivity and overreacting to minor issues
- Confusing intense chemistry with long-term compatibility
- Normalising non-committal 'situationships'
- Approaching dates as an investigation of someone's past to judge them
- Actively scanning for the 'ick' or instant turn-offs
- Abandoning potential at the first sign of discomfort
- Mislabeling ordinary differences as serious 'red flags'
- Prioritising superficial checklists (looks, income) over character
- Dating multiple people concurrently, leading to indecision and emotional stagnation
The expert highlighted that dating app fatigue is now reported by over 78% of Gen Z and millennials, exhausted by the relentless cycle of swiping, scrolling, and ghosting. This burnout, she explains, transforms dating from an activity of potential into a burdensome obligation, killing both enthusiasm and emotional availability.
From Curiosity to Judgment: A Cultural Shift
Ward pinpointed a crucial shift in mindset that is hampering dating success. Many now enter the process with a posture of judgment and forensic analysis, scouring a potential partner's digital history for reasons to disqualify them rather than seeking reasons to connect. This tendency, amplified by social media cultures of comparison and insecurity, has replaced curiosity with a flaw-finding mission.
Furthermore, the confusion between fleeting chemistry and substantial compatibility, exacerbated by app designs that favour instant attraction, often derails long-term potential. Simultaneously, the normalisation of undefined situationships, particularly among younger generations, has created a default setting of non-commitment that keeps relationships in a perpetual state of limbo.
"None of this is about failure," Louanne Ward concluded, offering a note of hope. Recognising these patterns is the first step toward change. The path forward, she advises, involves leaning into discomfort, challenging superficial checklists, and having the courage to show up with genuine intention rather than defensive self-protection.
