Have you ever found yourself putting off an important task, criticising yourself harshly, or striving for impossible perfection? According to a leading clinical psychologist, these common behaviours are not mere flaws in character, but sophisticated survival tactics hardwired into the human brain.
The Brain's Survival Strategy: Choosing the Lesser Harm
In his new book, Controlled Explosions in Mental Health, Dr Charlie Heriot-Maitland presents a compelling theory. He argues that self-sabotaging actions like procrastination, skin-picking, or ghosting people are forms of a protective instinct. The brain, he explains, is programmed primarily for survival, not for optimising happiness. It prefers to orchestrate small, predictable harms to shield us from potential larger, unpredictable threats.
'Our brain is a survival machine,' Dr Heriot-Maitland states. 'It needs us to exist in a predictable world. It does not like surprises.' The most vulnerable state for a human, he notes, is facing an unpredictable threat. To avoid this, the brain intervenes, creating what he terms 'controlled explosions'—self-inflicted, manageable crises.
'Our brain would rather we were the arbiter of our downfall than risk being floored by something external,' he writes. This means it would rather deal with the certainty of a minor failure caused by procrastination than the unknown risk of harsh criticism or rejection from others.
Common Forms of Neurological Hijacking
Dr Heriot-Maitland details several prevalent self-sabotaging behaviours, all rooted in this threat-response system.
Procrastination is a classic example, where avoidance of a task is an attempt to pre-empt potential failure or judgement. Perfectionism operates with a similar goal but through a different mechanism. Here, an individual hyperfocuses on detail to prevent errors, yet this often leads to immense stress and burnout.
Another key behaviour is self-criticism, which can manifest as relentless self-improvement or blame. This arises when the brain seeks a sense of agency and control over a situation. The psychologist explains that these actions involve a 'neurological hijacking,' where the brain's primitive threat system commandeers higher functions like imagination and reasoning.
'This is why when we experience fear, our imagination can lead us to think of worst-case scenarios,' he says. The tragic irony is that these behaviours can become self-fulfilling prophecies. For instance, fearing social rejection might cause someone to avoid others, thereby guaranteeing the loneliness they feared.
Moving Beyond Self-Sabotage: Understanding Over Elimination
Dr Heriot-Maitland emphasises that the solution is not to wage war on these instincts. Labelling the brain's protective measures as 'the enemy' is counterproductive. 'The bomb squad are not our enemies. They are protecting something bigger; something hurt,' he analogises, often linked to past difficult experiences or trauma.
However, he is clear that 'the controlled explosions do harm us' and addressing them is crucial. The path forward involves two key steps. First, 'creating safeness around that feared situation feeling.' Second, it can require 'grieving the loss of a core need in that situation that was unmet, denied or dismissed.'
'We don't want to fight these behaviours, but nor do we want to appease them and let them carry on controlling, dictating, and sabotaging our lives,' Dr Heriot-Maitland concludes. 'There are choices we have here.' By understanding the survival instinct at their core, individuals can begin to respond with compassion and make different, more empowering choices.
