The Overwhelming Stress of School Holidays for Remote Working Parents
A recent letter to The Independent's agony aunt, Victoria Richards, has struck a chord with parents across the UK. A frazzled mother expressed her inability to cope with school holidays, describing them as a source of immense stress as she juggles remote work and childcare alone.
The Daily Struggle of Juggling Work and Kids
In her heartfelt plea, the mother explains that her partner must be in the office, leaving her to manage everything from home. She finds it nearly impossible to work due to constant interruptions from her children, whether it's a crying child or demands for snacks during Zoom meetings. This situation makes her feel judged by colleagues and forces her to take sneaky breaks to entertain the kids.
The financial and logistical challenges add to the burden. With holidays too expensive for fun trips abroad, local options like museums, play centres, parks, and cinemas are overcrowded and overwhelming. The children quickly grow bored, leading to guilt when they end up watching TV instead of engaging in activities. She worries that when school resumes, her kids will have nothing exciting to report compared to classmates who went skiing or on exotic vacations.
The Broader Societal Issue of Gender Imbalance
Victoria Richards, in her response, acknowledges that this mother speaks for many. She highlights that while fathers, grandparents, and carers also face these challenges, women disproportionately bear the load of domestic labour. Data from the Covid pandemic illustrates this stark reality: women spent an average of three hours and 18 minutes daily on childcare during lockdown, compared to men's two hours.
Furthermore, over 70% of working mothers who requested furlough during school closures were denied, forcing them to balance work and parenting under immense pressure. This issue is not confined to the pandemic; studies show women globally do between four and eight hours more unpaid domestic work than men, even when employed full-time. In the UK, women provide 23.2 billion hours of unpaid childcare annually, versus 9.7 billion by men.
Practical Solutions and Emotional Support
Richards offers practical advice to alleviate the stress. She suggests teaming up with other parents for half-day or whole-day swaps, where one adult supervises multiple children, allowing others focused work time. For outings, she recommends free or low-cost activities at museums, libraries, or childcare centres during holidays.
At-home playdates can be a lifesaver, as children entertain themselves creatively when bored, giving parents a chance to work. Most importantly, Richards urges mothers to combat guilt by showing self-compassion. She emphasizes that doing one's best is enough and encourages repeating affirmations like "I am amazing" to build resilience.
This exchange underscores the ongoing struggle many parents face, calling for greater awareness and support in balancing work and family life during school breaks.
