Comedian Jimmy Carr has offered a candid and deeply personal reflection on his childhood, revealing how an exceptionally close bond with his mother profoundly shaped both his career and his early romantic life.
The 'enmeshed' bond that defined his youth
Speaking on The Louis Theroux Podcast, the 53-year-old star described his relationship with his mother, Nora, as 'enmeshed'. He was incredibly close to her before her tragic death from pancreatitis in 2001, when she was just 57 and Jimmy was 26. Carr directly links this powerful connection to his late start in sexual relationships, stating he did not lose his virginity until the age of 26.
'I was enmeshed with my mother and maybe that was, you know, a part of it. I'm sure that's what a psychotherapist would say,' he told Theroux. He also cited his Christian upbringing as a factor. Carr urged perspective on the issue, noting, 'It's not a race' and criticising the modern pressure to compare lives via social media. 'I think now more than ever with social media, the comparison is the thief of joy. Everyone is having a f**king amazing time online.'
Finding love and the pressure on young men
Carr, who now has two children with his long-term partner, producer Karoline Copping, believes there is 'a lot of pressure' on young men regarding sex. He painted a bleak picture of the current dating landscape, suggesting, 'It's that weird thing at the moment where the world is, harems and peepholes. It's a very small percentage of men getting all the girls and everyone else is hopelessly addicted to porn.'
He met Copping during TV auditions in 2001, though she initially thought poorly of him, telling colleagues he was 'very misogynistic and he's rubbish'. Reflecting on maturity, Carr said he now understands he needed to separate from his relationship with his mother before embarking on successful romances. 'You don't find the person till you find the person,' he mused, adding that men often become more attractive in their thirties through demonstrated competence.
The origin of his comedy career
The most poignant revelation ties directly to Carr's profession. He explained that his entire career as a comedian stems from the unique joy of making his mother laugh. Nora suffered from narcolepsy with cataplexy, a condition that meant a hearty laugh would cause her to lose muscular control.
'She had a laugh where she would make no noise at all, but she would kind of melt if you made her laugh,' Carr recalled. 'She would literally lose muscular control and just melt. So, the whole reason I'm a comedian, I think is clearly linked to making my mum laugh, it was the funniest thing in the world. It was joyful.'
He also shared his retrospective sadness at not being able to help his mother, whom he only later realised was 'severely depressed'. 'I feel I let her down because I didn't help in any practical way. I didn't have what I have now... I didn't know what was going on.'
Jimmy Carr was raised in Slough by his parents Nora and Patrick, who had moved from Limerick, Ireland. He has been estranged from his father since his mother's death. The Louis Theroux Podcast featuring this interview is available to stream on Spotify now.
