Most of us will experience periods of solitude at some point. But beige furnishings and self-care rituals are not the answer, argues Rachel Connolly, who has observed the rise of 'loneliness influencers' broadcasting their friendless lives online.
The Strange World of Influencers
Connolly recalls meeting influencers who seemed twitchy, manic, and socially anxious, struggling with normal conversation. She notes that 'loneliness influencers' share vlogs depicting cosy Friday nights alone in vibrant cities like New York, with captions like 'POV you're a childfree and single girl who lives alone, so this is how you spend your Friday night.' These videos show spotless, generic apartments, healthy dinners, and self-care rituals ending with early bedtimes.
Normalising Solitude or Promoting Defeatism?
Connolly finds these vlogs depressing not because of the solitude or friendlessness itself, but because of the cosy defeatism they promote. She argues that spending time alone is normal, and friendlessness often occurs during life transitions like moving to a new city or after major changes. Instead of retreating into comfort, she suggests going out to cafes, joining clubs, volunteering, or engaging in challenging activities like reading difficult novels or learning new skills.
The author criticises the idea that a relatively empty social life is a permanent state to be luxuriated in. She points out that young people already spend much time on Zoom and Slack, needing no further encouragement to shut themselves off from the world.
A Broader Trend of Bland Cosiness
Connolly observes that the loneliness influencer content is not new but part of a broader trend of bland, secluded cosiness in influencer culture. She questions why people become influencers, suggesting that the appeal lies in operating in a gamified environment from one's bedroom. However, she urges others not to follow suit, encouraging instead to engage with the world and seize each unique Friday night.
