Millie Mackintosh's Emotional Revelation of Childhood Sexual Assault
In a deeply personal and emotional interview, former Made In Chelsea star Millie Mackintosh broke down in tears as she recounted being sexually assaulted as a schoolgirl while blackout drunk at the age of 14. The 36-year-old television personality revealed she has carried immense shame for decades following the traumatic incident at a party, which she only recently recognised was not her fault.
Years of Shame and Self-Blame
Mackintosh, who attended boarding school in Dorset from age 10, described how she buried the memory of the assault due to feelings of embarrassment about being intoxicated. "I didn't realise it wasn't my fault until in my 20s," she confessed during her appearance on the Rise with Roxie podcast. "There was a lot of anger there. I just carried so much shame."
The reality star explained that she never disclosed the assault to her parents at the time, compounding her isolation. "Having not talked to my parents that night and getting picked up while drunk and just feeling hugely embarrassed, it was just never spoken about," she recalled. "So I buried it, but held onto that shame for years and years which is really heavy."
Therapeutic Healing Through Regression Work
Mackintosh has undergone regression therapy to address her trauma, describing it as "inner child work in deep relaxation" where she revisits painful memories in a safe therapeutic environment. She shared a powerful visualization from her therapy: "For me I went back into the house where it happened and carried my teen self out of the room and held her and told her it wasn't her fault."
This therapeutic approach, which involves techniques like hypnosis and guided imagery to access subconscious memories, has provided her with significant relief. "I've done some regression work which I have found really helpful," she noted, adding that processing these experiences has been crucial to her healing journey.
Patterns of Binge Drinking and Self-Destructive Behaviour
The assault triggered a dangerous cycle of binge drinking that Mackintosh used as an escape mechanism throughout her teenage years. "The first time I got out of control blackout drunk was at 14 and I was sexually assaulted at a party," she revealed. "It created more of those feelings of insecurity and not liking myself and wanting to escape and drinking became a way to mask that pain."
She described how this behaviour became normalized among her peer group: "I thought getting blackout drunk and not remembering the end of the night was normal. I became the butt of all the jokes because I was the one who had gone too far or done something crazy." This pattern continued into her late teens, with Mackintosh admitting she would drink vodka before parties by age 16.
Breaking the Cycle and Finding Self-Acceptance
Mackintosh emphasized that letting go of shame has been transformative in her recovery. "It's really toxic to hold onto shame but I feel sad for the girl I was, the way I was treated," she reflected. "Letting go of the shame has let me stop drinking and out of that cycle."
Her journey toward self-acceptance has involved significant introspection: "I had to really look at why I didn't love myself. When I stopped drinking, I had to really work on myself and figure out who I am without alcohol but also, why did I binge drink and what was I running from."
Personal Life Developments and Moving Forward
The interview comes amid news that Mackintosh and her husband Hugo Taylor have separated after seven years of marriage. The couple, who share two young daughters, have reportedly decided to part ways after serious conversations about their future while remaining committed to co-parenting.
Mackintosh recently attended a wellness retreat in India focused on healing the nervous system, sharing posts about embracing new beginnings. Her public revelations about her traumatic past represent a courageous step in her ongoing personal journey toward healing and self-discovery.
