The Chilling Prelude to a School Bathroom Murder
On what appeared to be an ordinary workday, sports coach Paul Thijssen was seen smiling and chatting amiably with his ex-girlfriend, 21-year-old Lilie James. There was no visible indication that this seemingly normal interaction would culminate in a brutal murder just hours later at St Andrew's Cathedral School in Sydney.
On October 25, 2023, Thijssen barged into a bathroom where Ms James was changing and bludgeoned her to death with a hammer. The 24-year-old struck her at least 25 times in the head and neck after conducting several 'dry runs' of the murder earlier that day, all captured on surveillance cameras.
The Digital Red Flags Everyone Missed
Long before the physical violence erupted, Thijssen had engaged in a pattern of technology-facilitated abuse that those around him failed to recognise as dangerous warning signs. His obsessive digital surveillance of Ms James's location was viewed by friends merely as an indication of how much he liked her, rather than the controlling behaviour it represented.
Another critical red flag emerged when Thijssen showed an intimate image of Ms James to his friends without her consent. Experts later identified this act as a calculated move to assert dominance rather than an innocent mistake. Neither display of digital abuse raised concerns among his social circle, which specialists believe demonstrates how worryingly normalised such behaviour has become among young people.
Coroner's Findings and National Implications
Following an inquest into her death, State Coroner Theresa O'Sullivan found on Thursday that Ms James had been killed by her ex-boyfriend in the context of domestic violence. The coroner identified several critical actions to address technology-facilitated abuse through education, awareness raising, and bystander intervention initiatives.
Domestic violence expert Professor Kate Fitz-Gibbon, who gave evidence at the inquest, welcomed the findings. 'In the midst of a national crisis of men's violence against women and children, these recommendations should be progressed with urgency and supported with appropriate funding,' she stated.
The coroner adopted Professor Fitz-Gibbon's suggestion that domestic violence screening tools should better reflect the link between coercive control - including technology-facilitated abuse and physical stalking - and the risk of intimate partner homicide.
Alarming data from the Domestic and Family Violence Death Review Network reveals that stalking - including online monitoring - occurred before 41.5% of intimate partner homicides in Australia. Despite this, research from the Social Research Centre indicates more than one in ten people consider it reasonable to expect to track a partner during relationships.
Chanel Contos, chief executive of educational organisation Teach Us Consent, emphasised the urgency of addressing this normalisation: 'We must take abuse online as seriously as we do abuse in-person. Young people deserve the culturally relevant education about technology-facilitated abuse they need to form healthy relationships.'
Coroner O'Sullivan endorsed the development of respectful relationship advice services, particularly targeting young men aged 19 to 24, highlighting the critical need for intervention during this demographic's peak risk period for perpetrating such violence.
