Kevin Fasting, 44, has held onto hope for more than 23 years that his father, Kevin Fasting Senior, is still alive. The 49-year-old vanished on November 21, 2003, after leaving a suicide note for his children. Despite the note, no body has ever been recovered, leaving the family without closure.
The Disappearance
Kevin Senior left his parents' home in Aigburth, Liverpool, for work as a meals-on-wheels driver. A neighbor saw him at a bus stop and offered a lift, but he declined. That was the last confirmed sighting. Before leaving, he wrote a note apologizing to his children, saying they would be "better off without him." He had also attempted suicide shortly before.
"When my nan and grandad got up, he'd already left for work as he usually would," Kevin recalled. "He just left a note to me and my sister, just to say that he was sorry, that he'd let us down and that we would be better off without him. After that, you're expecting to find the body. Then, as the weeks go on, you don't find the body. Then you get some hope and think 'he must not be dead because you would have found him.' Then the weeks turn into months, then into years, then into two decades - and here we are."
Lack of Closure
The absence of a body has prevented Kevin from grieving. "The hardest part is the closure," he said. "You can't grieve because they could walk in the next day. It's just worry to begin with but you've still got hope. There's no single point where you think, they must be dead."
The night before the disappearance, Kevin spoke to his father on the phone. "I spoke to him on the Thursday night and he seemed quite down, so he must have known he was going," he said. Kevin later learned his father had attempted suicide, but at the time, he thought his dad was getting back on his feet.
Uncertainty and Memories
Kevin still wrestles with what happened. "I assume he killed himself because he did leave a note, but when you don't find a body you start to think maybe he's just gone and started a new life somewhere," he said. "I don't think he killed himself straight away. I think maybe he thought he'd let everyone down, so he's left to do us a favour."
Despite the pain, Kevin cherishes memories of his father. "He was very kind. The best dad in the world," he said. "I was super close to him. He was my hero." He recalls simple moments like watching TV and lying on his father's chest watching Only Fools and Horses. Kevin still keeps his father's Liverpool City Council ID card and wears a St Christopher chain, just as his dad did.
Building a Legacy
After university, Kevin launched a business named Kevin Edward in his father's honour. "When the police had stopped looking, I wanted to generate money to advertise on bus stops and keep the dream alive," he said. The business has grown to include 35 to 40 companies and employs over 100 people, including his sister Becky. "I tried to build a life for him if he did come back," Kevin said. "Make him proud and look after the family members that were left."
Now a father to two daughters, Sienna, 14, and Isabella, 13, Kevin focuses on celebrating Father's Day with his family while remembering his dad. "The girls talk about Grandad Kevin," he said.
A Message to His Father
If Kevin could speak to his father one more time, he would say: "The man I've turned into now could easily save people like him. I mentor people now. He would've been the easiest one to save. We didn't have the easiest upbringing, but the life I've created now, he would've been living the dream."
Anyone with information about Kevin's disappearance can contact Missing People's helpline.
