Bridgett Consani, a 28-year-old kindergarten teacher from San Luis Obispo, California, lost nearly half her body weight after undergoing gastric sleeve surgery in 2022, dropping from 19 stone to 13 stone and from a UK dress size 22 to 12. Despite this dramatic transformation, she has continued to face cruel fat-shaming comments on dating apps, including one man who told her she was 'too fat to marry'.
Childhood Struggles with Weight
Consani said she has struggled with her weight since childhood. 'Since kindergarten I could immediately tell I was bigger than most people,' she said. Growing up in a town where being a size zero was the norm, she was already a UK size 16 by the time she was in school. 'I was the only one on the dance team wearing a size large,' she recalled.
When she began dating, she experienced two extremes: either men ignored her entirely or they 'overly-sexualised and fetishised' her for being plus-sized. 'It was not fun growing up being the 'bigger girl' and having men not even consider you. Doors never got held open for me until I was 160 or 170lbs,' she said.
Gastric Sleeve Surgery and Weight Loss
At age 28, Consani reached her heaviest weight of 19 stone while in college. She opted for gastric sleeve surgery in 2022, which resulted in a loss of seven stone and a drop of five dress sizes within a year. Encouraged by her progress, she decided to download the dating app Hinge after ending a two-year relationship earlier in 2025.
Fat-Shaming Encounter on Hinge
In October 2025, Consani matched with a man on Hinge. In initial messages, she expressed interest in 'something serious,' mentioning her desire for marriage and children. The man responded with a lewd offer: 'I'll put a baby in you tonight.' When she rejected him, he replied: 'Sweetheart you gotta understand what things are in this world. And when you're fat, you're not gonna marry a guy who looks like me. You're just gonna be able to f*** him. And now you blew your chance at that.'
Consani said she was 'appalled' but not surprised by the comment. 'It honestly happened so many times,' she said. 'There were so many times where I was sent things like that where guys think so highly of themselves and so lowly of women who have extra weight.' She noted that other men would make backhanded compliments like 'oh I love your thick thighs' or 'I love a girl with extra weight to throw around,' which she found demoralising.
Resilience and Determination
Despite the hurtful comments, Consani said she has developed a 'much stronger foundation' and is undeterred in her search for a soulmate. 'Before it definitely harmed me emotionally but now I have a much stronger foundation. This person doesn't know me, he doesn't know my journey. I think it's more their insecurities when a 'fat' girl turns them down. They want to lash out and hurt you,' she said.
Consani credits her resilience to her strong sense of self and remains optimistic. 'I don't get bothered, I'm just like 'sorry you feel that way, bye'. Now I'm just finding someone that aligns with my goals. I think we're all looking for our soul mate and perfect match,' she added.
Hinge has been approached for comment.
