Pushy and shouty parents are the “biggest problem in sports performance”, sports psychologists have said, amid growing concern that pressure and abuse is hampering competitive sport in the UK. This week parents were banned from attending sports events at a number of south London primary schools due to “concerning behaviours”, including abuse towards officials and children and creating “too much pressure around performance and winning at all costs”.
Stephen Smith, chair of the British Psychological Society’s sport and exercise psychology division, said: “It’s the biggest problem in sports performance and it has been going on for years. The level of abuse has only got worse. Behaviour has got worse. But it has been ignored and now we’re trying to put the genie back in the bottle.” Smith said intrusion from parents can make children “freeze up because of the pressure” and watching their parents shout abuse can have a hugely negative impact on a child.
Dr Matthew Cunliffe, a consultant and sport and exercise psychologist at the University of Greenwich, said: “There is definitely an element of unsportsmanlike conduct on the part of parents that we see quite regularly in sport these days.” He noted that signs in parks on Saturday mornings remind parents: “Remember, it’s supposed to be fun. Treat the referees with respect. Try not to shout abuse at the other team.” However, Cunliffe said banning parents from events wasn’t the answer, as parents provide emotional support and children look to them in times of stress.
Many top athletes have credited parental pressure for their success. Emma Raducanu described her parents as “so pushy”, while David Beckham said his father’s strict training regime prepared him for the pressures of an international career. But Smith cautioned that “nobody really talks about how their parents didn’t put the pressure on” and that there can be negative consequences. “Sometimes the pressures come at a price. Lots of people made it as great sports stars but also went off the rails,” he said.
Cunliffe said children with parents who are “consistent, responsive, warm, reliable” in their approach to training were likely to develop a secure attachment style that would give them confidence. But when parents are inconsistent or not reassuring, children may become “anxiously attached”, craving approval and fearing rejection. He added: “Parents are there for the emotional support, the motivation, the encouragement, but it’s when they step over that line into coaching pressure that you get issues.”
Smith said there was an urgent need to address the role parents play in their children’s training, but despite people repeatedly raising the issue, no organisation has stepped forward to tackle it.
