Kneecap's Móglaí Bap, real name Naoise Ó Cairealláin, has shared a heartfelt statement about his late mother's death by suicide ahead of the band's new song. Set to be released tomorrow, the track titled 'Irish Goodbye' from the album 'Fenian' was written by Móglaí as his way to 'confront the reality' of his mother's death.
He revealed on Instagram that he never planned to write the song, which features Kae Tempest, but was inspired after seeing old video footage of his mum looking happy, years before her death in 2020. 'The idea I had in my head with 'MAM' was, if I wrote it, she'd hear it, and maybe she'd feel her worth, because when you suffer from depression, you can't see your own value. At that time, we went for a walk and I told her I had written a song for her, but that it wasn't completely finished yet, so I'd wait until the next week to play it for her. But by then it was too late,' he said.
'Suicide is hard. And when someone is sick with depression and dies by suicide, it's hard to remember the good moments. You get caught up in the dark times,' he added. He explained that the song is about 'the mundane things me and my Ma did together' like walking in the park, as he 'never realised it was the day to day stuff I would miss when she was gone.' 'It's all the small things that you miss. Watching that footage of her and writing this song, unlocked a part of my brain that gave me the opportunity to override the constant sad memories. It allowed me to visualise happier times, instead of being so angry at the world.'
He added that since her death he found it 'hard to confront the reality of what has happened', battling with conflicting feelings of anger, shame and guilt as he navigated this 'specific kind of grief.' 'You feel like you're carrying this weird other burden… It's a very hard conversation to have. Who the f**k wants to talk about it, really? Death is depressing enough. But we need to talk about it, because we have to alleviate that extra burden of shame and guilt on top of the burden of grief. You can't change what happened. You're not necessarily able to save people from themselves.'
He revealed that he didn't cope with her death initially, but therapy helped him over time, encouraging others to seek therapy if they are going through something similar. 'A lot of our parents' generation don't believe in therapy. But we're different. We can ask for help, we should ask for help, and there should be services there for us to get help,' he said. 'I'm hoping that if people listen to the song, and watch the video, maybe something will connect that gives them some sort of relief. You can't carry this stuff around with you and blame yourself. It's not your fault. It's no one's fault. It's about the process of dealing with it. And you can deal with it. You can.'
If you're struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email jo@samaritans.org or visit their site to find your local branch.
