Churches and other religious institutions are grappling with a significant demographic shift as the number of single adults rises, challenging long-held traditions centered on marriage and family. For centuries, marriage and child-rearing have been primary pathways for integrating adults into congregational life, but declining marriage rates are reshaping faith communities.
The Rise of Single Adults
In the United States, 42% of adults were not married or living with a partner in 2023, up from 38% in 2000. This trend is expected to persist, with a quarter of 40-year-olds never married and a third of Gen Z projected to never marry. Consequently, the share of unmarried Americans belonging to a religious congregation has fallen significantly below that of married Americans. According to the Pew Research Center's 2023-24 Religious Landscape Study, 68% of married adults identify as Christian, compared to about 51% of never-married adults. Meanwhile, 24% of married Americans are religiously unaffiliated, versus 39% of never-married Americans.
Behavioral economist and business school professor Peter McGraw, who studies the "solo economy," notes that religious institutions are now confronting the consequences of treating unmarried adults as incomplete members. The gap in religious membership between married and unmarried Americans has widened substantially since the 1990s, with 71% of married Americans belonging to a congregation in the 1990s compared to 64% of unmarried Americans. By 2019, those figures dropped to 59% and 45%, respectively.
Alarm Across Faiths
Communities historically built around married families are feeling the shift most acutely. Couples retreats, life-stage-based small groups, children's programs, and leadership roles often assume a spouse, creating an implicit bias. In April 2021, M. Russell Ballard, a top leader in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, acknowledged that over half of adult members were widowed, divorced, or not yet married, leading some to "wonder about their opportunities and place in God's plan." In July 2024, the church expanded its "young single adult" category from ages 18-30 to 18-35.
In evangelical Christianity, sociologist Katie Gaddini's research found that women over 35 often felt overlooked and valued less due to their marital status. At a London women's conference, one attendee expressed frustration: "I'm so tired of fighting Christian church leaders to be treated equally, but I don't want to leave the church. So, what do I do?"
In Modern Orthodox Judaism, a 2022 Nishma Research survey revealed that singles reported the lowest sense of community connection (69 on a 100-point scale) compared to married members (81). Another report by Brandeis University sociologist Sylvia Barack Fishman described unmarried members feeling "ignored and invisible" in synagogue life, sometimes treated as broken people waiting to be fixed.
Sociologist Ari Engelberg, author of "Singlehood and Religion," noted that unmarried adults in Israel's Religious Zionist community often internalize their single status as a religious failing, as marriage is central to observant life.
Doubling Down on Marriage
Religious institutions have responded in two main ways. Some have reasserted marriage as the expected path to adulthood and spiritual maturity. Pope Francis has repeatedly warned about declining birth rates, calling the trend a "tragedy." In 2023, Dallin H. Oaks, president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, urged single adults to date more, marry earlier, and not delay having children. In June 2025, the Southern Baptist Convention passed a resolution lamenting "willful childlessness" and calling for laws that incentivize family formation.
However, this approach can alienate singles. Qualitative research shows that marriage is frequently mentioned in sermons, while singleness is rarely addressed. When single adults hear that the fullest faithful life is married life, many feel pushed outward rather than called upward.
Adapting to Change
Other religious communities are adapting. In the U.K., the Single Friendly Church Network offers a guided audit to help congregations assess their welcome to single attendees. In the U.S., ministries like Table for One focus on spiritual community rather than matchmaking. Fishman's 2022 report urged synagogues to give singles leadership roles and ritual honors regardless of marital status, though adoption remains uncertain.
Adaptation raises a key question: Are these efforts designed to support singles as full members or to manage them toward marriage? There is a difference between welcoming singles and treating singlehood as a problem to solve.
Practical Steps for Inclusion
McGraw suggests several steps for religious institutions to keep unmarried adults engaged:
- Count who is in the pews. Leaders may not realize how many members are single, divorced, or widowed. The Single Friendly Church Network found that demographic audits often surprise congregations.
- Give singles real authority. Inclusion means leadership, voice, and visibility, not just creating a special ministry while leaving decision-making to married people.
- Rethink the language of belonging. Sermons and announcements that reflexively address "families" and "couples" can make unmarried adults feel peripheral. Small linguistic changes can signal inclusion.
- Build community rather than dating pools. The goal should be to treat singles as complete people whose spiritual lives matter now, not to funnel them toward coupledom.
Religious institutions now face the same choice as employers, policymakers, and consumer brands: adapt to a society with more single adults or continue building for a world that no longer exists.
