Singles nights in France are adopting a bold new approach to dating: skipping small talk and diving straight into discussions about sexual fantasies. The events, launched last year in Paris by sex therapist Léa Toussaint, aim to help under-40s foster openness and honesty by encouraging early conversations about sexual preferences.
Participants pay €25 and engage in a series of seven-minute conversations using suggested questions such as “Do you prefer having sex in bed or outdoors?” and “Would you like to initiate sex more or less often?” Toussaint, who calls the concept “deep dating,” told The Times: “If people don’t know what to say or find it hard to talk to each other, they can take a card and place it between them and ask the question written on it.”
The idea may seem daunting, but it taps into a broader issue: many Britons struggle to communicate about sex. According to The Great British Sex Report, only one in three always orgasm during sex with their partner, with men twice as likely to orgasm as women. Additionally, 42 per cent of respondents said they find it hard to communicate what they want during sex, and 37 per cent have hidden a sexual preference or fantasy from a partner.
Relationships coach Courtney Boyer says such events “flip the usual script” and can be “refreshing and empowering.” Emma-Louise Boynton, founder of Sex Talks, agrees: “I don’t think you should wait until you’re undressed in front of someone before you start talking about what you like, what you don’t, and what your boundaries are.”
While Toussaint’s events are currently only in France, similar versions exist in the UK, such as singles nights hosted by the app Feeld. One attendee, Miriam*, 35, said people were “really honest about what they wanted and what they were into,” though she noted she was looking for a relationship rather than casual sex.
