Despite having a busy social life and active group chats, many people still feel lonely if they lack quality time or intimacy, according to podcast host Don Martin. He defines loneliness as the gap between the connection one wants and the connection one is getting, a realisation that prompted him to experiment with new social approaches.
One experiment involved replacing text messages with voice notes. A brief check-in via voice note felt more personal and immediate than text, providing a definite boost in mood. Martin suggests that hearing a friend's voice can enhance connection.
Video calls are another effective method. Though often reserved for family or work, spontaneously calling a friend for a 20-minute chat improved the caller's mood. Martin notes that video calls approximate in-person connection better than messaging, allowing for non-verbal cues and more fulfilling conversations in less time.
Standing plans, such as weekly video calls or regular pub quizzes, provide social scaffolding that withstands busy schedules. Martin himself calls a close friend several times a week on his drive to work, maintaining connection without effort. These routines make whatever comes next easier to handle and don't detract from in-person time.
