Every year around 55,000 people in the UK are diagnosed with breast cancer, equivalent to one woman every nine minutes and one man each day. While it is the most common cancer in the UK, survival rates are improving. Cancer Research UK figures show that more than 95 out of 100 survive for one year or more, almost 90 out of 100 survive for five years or more, and more than 75 out of 100 survive for ten years or more.
Psychological Support Gaps
However, many patients feel isolated after completing primary treatment. A recent survey by breast cancer charity Future Dreams found that nearly 48% of NHS Trusts lack a formal psychological support pathway for cancer patients post-treatment. This leaves many to cope alone with mental trauma, fear of dying, ongoing side effects, and challenges returning to work.
Common Mistakes Friends Make
Friends, families, and colleagues often struggle with what to say. Future Dreams' lead breast care nurse specialist Jackie Wright explained: "Some patients end up feeling ghosted, specifically loved ones, friends and work colleagues, who, unsure of how to react, often say nothing as they are scared of saying the wrong thing." Wright shared advice on how to talk to loved ones and words to avoid.
Patient's 'Worst Dread'
"Recovery is different for each person, so be careful talking about friends or relations who have had the disease," advised Wright. "Certainly never mention someone who has had cancer and died. That is every patient's worst dread. I have lost count of the number of times patients have come to me shell-shocked when a well-meaning friend has spoken to them about a treatment but ended the story with the fact that the person didn't survive."
A Compliment Isn't Always Wanted
Wright said: "Everyone likes a compliment but be really careful about assuming that because someone looks well, they feel well. They are often navigating harsh side effects of drugs and surgery with minimal support. If you bounce in saying 'you look great' it can leave them feeling like you are minimising the extent of the pain and anguish they are going through. Tell them they look amazing by all means but put it in the context of acknowledging the tough time they've been having."
Leading the Conversation
"Let them lead conversations," Wright advised. "Some patients are comfortable with language like 'you can beat this' and 'you are so strong' whereas others find it quite distressing. You never want a patient to feel they are not trying hard enough to live or get well."
Recovery Isn't Always Smooth
"Recovery isn't linear," said Wright. "There will always be times when it is one step forward and two steps back. It is important to remember that."
Don't Assume
Wright says never assume the end of treatment means everything is completed. "When someone's treatment finishes, don't say 'everything's back to normal.' At Future Dreams we see many patients who only begin to process what they have gone through once their treatment is finished, sometimes years down the line. Breast cancer can change how you feel for the rest of your life."
When to Check In
"After treatment is when the psychological impact begins but it is when family, friends or work colleagues assume you are okay," said Wright. "Please check in and ask how someone really is."
Never Say This
Wright shared a key phrase to avoid: "Never refer to the surgery as a 'free boob job' or 'free tummy tuck' (tissue from the stomach can be used to reconstruct a new breast). Most people choose to have cosmetic surgery to feel better about themselves - breast cancer patients sadly don't have that choice, it is something that is done to them. While some patients will use this language, that is their choice – not yours."
Fear is Real
"Fear of recurrence is real," said Wright. "Every ache or pain creates a worry that the cancer could be back. It can be overwhelming especially in the run up to hospital appointments, so don't just dismiss people's fears but encourage them not to spiral."
Be There
Wright concluded: "It is okay to say that you don't know what to say but that you are there for them. And let them know that if you accidentally say the wrong thing it is fine for them to let you know. Everyone is different and trying to do their best."
For further information, visit Future Dreams.
