Martin Frizell, the husband of beloved Mirror columnist and former GMTV presenter Fiona Phillips, has made a devastating admission about her Alzheimer's battle, stating he sometimes wishes she had cancer instead. The emotional revelation came during a series of television interviews where Frizell detailed the heartbreaking reality of watching his wife of nearly three decades gradually disappear.
The Heartbreaking Reality of Early Onset Alzheimer's
Fiona Phillips was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's in 2022 at age 61, a diagnosis that has transformed the family's life. Speaking on BBC Breakfast, Martin Frizell described how his wife no longer knows what day it is, her postcode, or even what season it is. "It's watching that woman you love disappear gradually before your eyes," he said, his voice heavy with emotion.
A Wish Born from Frustration
In what may be his most shocking admission, Frizell revealed that in their book about the experience, he writes that he sometimes wishes Fiona had cancer instead. This startling statement stems from the greater public discourse and support systems available for cancer patients compared to those with Alzheimer's. While acknowledging the horror of any serious illness, Frizell emphasized how Alzheimer's particularly robs individuals of their identity and memories in ways that other conditions do not.
The Daily Struggles of Caregiving
Frizell, who stepped down from his full-time position as editor of ITV's This Morning to care for his wife, described the constant guilt that accompanies his caregiving role. "My family are going through enough. I feel guilty being here, subconsciously you feel you should be there all the time," he explained. He even limits his café visits to places with only one-hour parking to ensure he doesn't stay away too long.
The former television editor detailed how he spends his evenings planning care arrangements for the coming week, with every moment away from Fiona filled with guilt. "Every second I'm away I feel guilty," he admitted, highlighting the emotional toll on caregivers that often goes unrecognized.
Fiona's Current Condition
Despite the progression of her illness, Fiona Phillips remains "very much with us" according to her husband. She retains surprising long-term memories, particularly related to music. She still remembers interviewing Rod Stewart and can recall lyrics and song intros, yet will forget whether she has eaten lunch or dinner.
Frizell noted that Fiona usually recognizes him, though she doesn't always remember he is her husband. "She does always remember me - but am I Martin her husband or Martin a nice man helping me?" he questioned, illustrating the confusing reality of their relationship dynamic.
The Practical Challenges
Daily life has become increasingly difficult for the couple. Frizell explained that they can no longer drive or take public transport together because Fiona becomes disoriented and anxious. "She constantly asks what is happening, probably four or five times a minute on loop for the entire journey," he described. The stress became so unbearable during one taxi ride that he nearly asked the driver to turn around and take them home.
On particularly difficult days, Fiona experiences delusions that lead her to believe Frizell has kidnapped her. When she asks to go home to her parents (who have passed away), he has developed a coping strategy: "What you do is, you say, 'Let's get our coats on, let's get our shoes on', we go up around the block a couple of times and come back in. And she says, 'Oh, I'm home now.'"
Finding Respite and Advocacy
Despite the challenges, Frizell has begun to carve out small moments for himself, returning to broadcasting work and podcasting. He has even planned an eight-day tour in April - his first extended time away from home in two years. Yet even this planning is tinged with guilt.
Frizell is using his platform to advocate for greater Alzheimer's awareness and support, acknowledging that while it's too late to help Fiona significantly, early detection can improve quality of life for others. He described their experience as "wretched" - a word he believes applies not just to Fiona's suffering, but to that of the entire family and support network.
The former television professional emphasized that despite her condition, Fiona remains "the world's most stubborn woman" who would probably dislike published photos of her eating chocolate because she'd want her hair color to look better. This glimpse of her personality surviving amidst the cognitive decline offers a poignant reminder of the person behind the diagnosis.
