The Rising Tide of 'Competence Hangover' in Modern Workplaces
Are you feeling utterly exhausted, grappling with insomnia, headaches, irritability, emotional flatness, and a constant sense of being on edge? If so, you might be experiencing what is now termed a "competence hangover." This phenomenon, highlighted in a recent Grazia article, describes a state where individuals, particularly women, become depleted from taking on extra responsibilities, over-delivering, handling emotional labour, and being the go-to person for tasks like supplying birthday cakes. It is the result of being overworked and underappreciated, with colleagues often complacently remarking, "What would we do without you?!"
The Gender Disparity in Workplace Burnout
This issue is not new in domestic settings, where women historically shoulder disproportionate responsibilities and mental loads. However, in professional environments, multiple surveys and reports in recent years indicate that women are more prone to burnout, with the "competence hangover" serving as a milder yet pervasive form. A significant factor is the challenge of balancing domestic duties with career obligations. Additional pressures include a 2024 study showing that women's extra hours are rewarded less than men's, presenteeism penalising efficient workers, and a lack of "status shield" that leaves women more vulnerable to negative emotions and perceptions. Consequently, McKinsey's 2025 Women in the Workplace report noted for the first time that women are less interested in promotions than men, reflecting widespread fatigue.
The Universal Allure and Trap of Competence
While women are disproportionately affected, the seduction of competence can be universal. Competence is inherently appealing—it provides security and reliability. For instance, personal anecdotes reveal how partners' competent acts, like installing a TV with a makeshift aerial or setting up a stereo system, foster delight and relaxation. However, this trait becomes a hard habit to break, as competence often pairs with conscientiousness, leading effective individuals of all genders to become overburdened. Being a "safe pair of hands" can become exhaustingly habitual, creating a cycle of overwork that is difficult to escape.
Root Causes and Psychological Impacts
The drive to over-perform can stem from rational fears, such as job security in a tough economy, or deeper desires to please and achieve perfection. Psychologist Dr. Audrey Tang, cited in the Grazia article, describes how busyness can be psychologically "soothing," yet unhelpful. Similarly, in the French book Ciao les nazes, author Séverine Bavon, a former super employee, recounts an internal voice constantly pushing her to take on more until she eventually quit. These examples underscore the mental toll of competence hangovers, which can lead to severe burnout if unaddressed.
Strategies for Mitigation and Support
To protect the heroically competent from crashing out, proactive measures are essential. Dr. Tang advocates for a mindset shift, urging individuals to "unlearn the belief that your value is tied to what you produce and how you solve things." While this is sensible, it places additional emotional labour on those already strained. Alternatively, less competent individuals, or "incompetent slackers," could step up to alleviate the burden. For example, by not volunteering for note-taking—framed as a feminist act to break gender norms but rooted in simple laziness—or by feigning helplessness to encourage delegation. Ultimately, the best solution is for everyone to contribute more, ensuring that overstretched workers are not left to shoulder all responsibilities alone.
This competence hangover crisis highlights a broader need for workplace and societal changes to foster appreciation, equitable distribution of tasks, and better mental health support. Without such shifts, the cycle of burnout will continue to drain valuable talent and well-being.
