Do you struggle to say 'no', find yourself constantly apologising, or always put other people's needs before your own? If this sounds familiar, you might be a people pleaser, a pattern of behaviour that can seriously undermine your wellbeing.
While being kind and accommodating seems positive, clinical psychologist Dr Julie Smith warns that consistently minimising your own needs takes a heavy toll on your mental health. With over a decade of professional experience, Dr Smith shared crucial advice with her five million TikTok followers on November 28, 2025, outlining three major habits to abandon immediately.
Stop Agreeing With Everyone
The first damaging habit is automatically agreeing with others to avoid conflict. You might believe this makes you more likeable, but Dr Smith argues it hides your true personality.
This behaviour creates an internal disconnect and makes your interactions seem inauthentic. The psychologist urges people to stop worrying about sounding 'mean' or 'difficult'.
"Pleasing everyone isn't kindness, it's fear," Dr Smith explained. "Fear of conflict, rejection or being seen as difficult... True kindness includes being honest even when it's uncomfortable."
Stop Saying 'Yes' All The Time
The second critical mistake is the inability to decline requests. If you are someone who burns out from taking on extra work or attending events you have no interest in, this is for you.
Continuously saying 'yes' leads to feelings of frustration and anger, eroding your sense of self. Dr Smith makes a powerful distinction about the impact of this habit.
"Saying yes doesn't build connection, it builds resentment," she stated. "Healthy relationships include boundaries."
Prioritise Yourself and Your Needs
The third and perhaps most vital change is to stop minimising your own feelings. When you consistently abandon your needs to keep others happy, you send a message to yourself and the world that you are not important.
Dr Smith warns that this makes you increasingly invisible, even to yourself. She emphasises that being a good person and standing up for yourself are not mutually exclusive concepts.
The path forward is clear: practice saying no, establish firm boundaries, and voice your opinions confidently. It is, after all, your life to live.
