Recent neuroscience research from Cambridge University, published in Nature Communications, reveals that the brain's adolescent phase extends until age 32, challenging traditional assumptions that maturation ends at 18 or 25. This extended period of 'not-quite-adulthood' presents both vulnerability and opportunity for young people, and requires parents to adapt their approach.
Psychotherapist and author, drawing on personal experience with her own daughter, notes that parenting does not stop when children turn 18; it simply changes shape. Yet parenting adult children remains one of the least discussed aspects of family life. She describes a painful crisis with her daughter at age 18, which ultimately led to a breakthrough in their relationship through therapy and honest communication.
Statistics show that about a third of young adults aged 18 to 34 now live with their parents, and nearly 60% of parents financially support an adult child. This shift reflects a radically different economic and social reality compared with previous generations, when adulthood meant cutting ties at 18. Psychologist Jeffrey Arnett coined the term 'emerging adulthood' for the years between 18 and 25, a phase of exploration and uncertainty.
The author shares guiding principles for building good relationships with adult children, including resetting boundaries, opening honest communication, and learning to fight productively. She illustrates with the case of Sarah, a client in her mid-50s whose 26-year-old son Tom moved back home after university, leading to feelings of depletion and resentment. The process of reconfiguration, though chaotic, can lead to stronger family bonds.
