The Viral Warning Signs of Narcissistic Behaviour
A mental health advocate has sparked widespread discussion after revealing ten hobbies commonly associated with narcissistic individuals, with her Instagram video amassing over 800,000 views in just over a week.
Lisa Fuller, who describes herself as a 'narc abuse advocate', created the viral post to help people identify potential narcissistic abuse in their relationships. The video has received more than 4,000 likes and nearly 600 comments from users sharing their experiences.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is officially defined as a mental health condition characterised by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, entitlement and impaired empathy. Those with NPD typically display a need for constant admiration and have an easily threatened sense of self.
The Bathroom Hideaway: More Than Just Privacy
According to Fuller, one of the most telling behaviours is what she calls their 'love affair with the bathroom'. She explains that narcissists may spend hours hidden away, using this private space to scroll through social media, engage in sexting, watch pornography, or flirt with others without detection.
'They pick the bathroom because that's the place people aren't just going to walk in on them,' Fuller states in her video. Research supports this connection, with a 2014 study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy finding that narcissists tend to be more sexually driven as they seek pleasure.
Dr Thomas Kasper, a licensed therapist and study author, told Psychology Today that pornography use can be narcissistic because 'pornography itself objectifies human bodies and distorts sex and its meaning.' He added that when pleasure becomes limited to self-gratification, it feeds narcissistic tendencies.
Gossip as Currency and Schadenfreude
Fuller identifies gossiping as the second red flag hobby, describing how narcissists 'weaponise gossiping so that every secret becomes currency.' This behaviour is particularly associated with covert narcissists who may appear more subtle in their methods.
The third concerning hobby involves deriving pleasure from others' suffering. 'They love watching people struggle,' Fuller claims. 'They secretly sit back with a bowl of popcorn and watch the show, watching other people in pain. It makes a narcissist feel powerful.'
Clinical psychologist Seth Meyers explains this behaviour stems from childhood trauma. 'Because the narcissist's emotional scar involved them being unnoticed, humiliated, or subjugated, they have an intense and often negative reaction when people around them feel really good, succeed or shine.'
Image Obsession and Collector Mentality
Fourth on Fuller's list is the tendency to 'collect admirers' or what she calls 'flying monkeys' - people who do their bidding and boost their ego. This aligns with what Professor Susan Krauss Whitbourne describes as a 'hallmark trait' of NPD in her Psychology Today article 'Why a Narcissist Will Never Back Down'.
The fifth red flag involves obsession with self-image, including frequent selfie posting and gym attendance designed to create an impression of superiority. A 2018 study from Brunel University found that people who frequently post about their workouts often do so to boast about their appearance, a behaviour known as comparative self-enhancement.
Fuller's complete list of ten narcissistic hobbies includes:
- Hiding in the bathroom for hours
- Gossiping 'like it's a sport'
- Enjoying watching people struggle
- Collecting admirers
- Being obsessed with their image
- Creating drama for entertainment
- Porn addiction
- Drug and alcohol use
- Stalking, including social media surveillance
- Rescuing people to create obligation
Substance Use and Manipulative Rescue
Fuller also highlights problematic relationships with drugs and alcohol, which narcissists use 'to fuel their highs and escape their lows.' A 2019 article in Frontiers in Psychiatry confirmed this link, finding that self-esteem levels significantly influence substance use as a validation method.
Perhaps surprisingly, 'rescuing' behaviour makes the list as narcissists may offer excessive help to create dependency. Netherlands-based clinical psychologist Alexander Burgemeester explains that 'the aim of this is to make the recipient feel dependent on and obligated to the individual.'
Stalking behaviour also features prominently, with Fuller noting that narcissists 'have to know what you're doing at all times.' A 2016 study published in Personality and Individual Differences found that people high in narcissistic traits were more likely to engage in obsessive relational intrusion, including stalking, after rejection.
Experts estimate that up to one in twenty people in the UK may suffer from narcissistic personality disorder to some degree, though many specialists believe the condition is widely underdiagnosed. While the term 'narcissist' is often used casually, for those living with genuinely narcissistic partners, friends or family members, the experience can be profoundly damaging.
Specialists warn that narcissists can exhibit abusive behaviours, often manifesting as a tendency to exploit or dismiss others' needs. They may overreact to criticism, even when constructive, and frequently shift blame to protect their fragile self-image, leaving those around them questioning their own reality.
