A mother has revealed what she describes as a simple yet transformative technique for getting toddlers to listen and cooperate, claiming it has revolutionised her morning routines and reduced household arguments dramatically.
The Toddler Communication Challenge
Parents of young children frequently encounter the frustrating scenario where their toddlers seem determined to do the exact opposite of what they're asked. This common behavioural pattern, where children test boundaries through both verbal and physical interactions, can create daily tension and stress within family life.
According to NHS guidance, numerous factors can contribute to difficult toddler behaviours, including fatigue, hunger, overexcitement, frustration, or simple boredom. Recognising these underlying causes represents the first step toward more effective communication strategies.
A Mother's Rediscovered Solution
Rachel, a thirty-year-old mother who shares parenting content on TikTok, found herself facing this exact challenge with her two toddlers: a three-year-old son named Junior and a two-year-old daughter called Romi. After experiencing days of constant resistance, particularly from her daughter whose favourite word had become "no," she remembered a technique she had previously used successfully with her son.
"I don't know about anybody else but my toddlers do not listen to me, like at all," Rachel explained in her video. "But I think I've cracked it and I'm obviously going to share it. It's something I used to do with my son, but sometimes you actually just forget these parenting moments that once worked for you."
The Phrasing Transformation
The technique involves a subtle but powerful shift in how requests are framed to young children. Instead of using direct commands like "put your clothes on," Rachel began phrasing instructions as invitations to demonstrate their capabilities.
"This morning I was trying to get them ready to go to nursery and they just wouldn't get their pyjamas off to get their clothes," she described. "Today I said 'show me how you get your pyjamas off,' 'show me how you get dressed,' 'come show me how you do that.'"
Rachel continued: "I used to use it on my son because I read about it ages ago that some other mum did it on TikTok. They want to show you that they know they can do things. This morning I used it, and our morning was very calm... suspiciously calm and yeah I used that terminology basically the whole morning and we got out the door on time and little to no arguments."
Wider Validation from Other Parents
Rachel's experience is not isolated, as numerous parents responded to her video with confirmation that similar techniques have worked wonders for their own children's behaviour. The comments section revealed a community of parents sharing their successful communication adjustments.
One parent commented: "Always works! Or if I say to Hattie 'I'll time you! How fast can you put toothpaste on your brush,' or 'how fast you can tidy up!'"
Another shared: "Changing vocabulary really can be a game changer! My now three-year-old was a terrible biter and saying 'no biting' or 'stop biting' just never worked. Eventually when we would say 'teeth are for eating' or 'teeth are for chewing' it really sunk in (pardon the pun). Taking the term 'biting' away actually helped."
A third parent echoed similar success: "Always works!! Or if I say to Hattie 'I'll time you! How fast can you put toothpaste on your brush,' or 'how fast you can tidy up.'"
The Psychological Foundation
Child development experts suggest that this technique works because it taps into toddlers' natural desire for autonomy and competence. By framing tasks as opportunities to demonstrate skills rather than as obligations to obey, parents engage children's intrinsic motivation rather than triggering resistance to external control.
This approach aligns with positive parenting principles that emphasise cooperation over compliance, building children's confidence while reducing power struggles. The subtle shift from command to invitation respects the child's growing independence while still guiding them toward necessary routines and behaviours.
For parents struggling with daily battles over dressing, eating, or leaving the house, this simple linguistic adjustment offers a practical tool that requires no special equipment or training, just a mindful change in communication patterns that can transform tense interactions into cooperative moments.
