Count Binface is pulling off the impossible by uniting football fans and political rivals in a bid to blast Nigel Farage out of Clacton. The self-styled space warrior declared: “Whether it’s politics or sides of the Mersey, I’m uniting red and blue” after Liverpool legend Jamie Carragher and Everton hero Peter Reid both backed his by-election bid.
Farage's Resignation Triggers By-Election
Binface admitted Farage’s shock resignation had caught him off guard, joking: “I didn’t know old Farage was going to self-detonate, did I?” The contest was sparked after Farage sensationally resigned as Clacton MP and immediately announced he would stand again in the by-election to prove his mandate. This came amid mounting scrutiny over gifts and donations, which Farage insists are all above board.
Major Parties Step Aside
Binface’s campaign has rocketed since Farage quit, with Labour, the Conservatives and the Lib Dems all refusing to stand candidates. The 5,900-year-old leader of the Recyclons – dubbed by the Daily Star as ‘Britain’s sanest politician’ – has been flooded with offers from volunteers to pound the streets of Clacton for his cause, while bookmakers have slashed his odds.
Humble Binners
But humble Binners said: “I don’t want them to go marching around for me. I don’t know even if I’ll get any votes. Perhaps it’s all a fever dream which we’re living in after England’s World Cup match against Mexico and we have all yet to wake up from it.”
Getting to Grips with Essex
The galactic intergalactic warrior has been getting to grips with Essex, quipping: “I have heard it’s on the sea and I have heard it’s got a pier. In fact I was about to abolish it but then someone pointed out that it is a pier, not a peer.”
“It’s earliest days yet and there is a long old road to go, but if in the unlikely event that the humans of Clacton prefer me to old Nige, then I will do my very best to represent them.”
Pressure on Farage
Pressure continued to mount on the Reform chief yesterday. Arts minister Sir Chris Bryant accused him of throwing a “hissy fit” by forcing the by-election and said: “He’s trying to pretend that he’s Donald Trump. I just don’t think it washes with most ordinary members of the public.”
