If you have a problem that needs solving and you don't know where to turn, look no further. Every day, the Daily Star's very own agony aunt Jane O'Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice. From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues, drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn't slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Sly and Gobbo
I don't trust my partner's two closest friends – I fear they encourage him to get off with other women. They're both single and strike me as sly and tricky. All three of them go out together. They go on lads only holidays and frequent bars and clubs. I'm never invited nor told what's going on. They share private jokes and he has a different mobile phone he uses for their calls.
A few nights ago, I met up with a friend. She and I had a few drinks, and I suggested we treat my guy to a surprise visit. I knew that he was planning a meal with his mates and a couple of clients in a posh restaurant. These 'clients' turned out to be three very glamorous women. My bloke had his arm around one of the women's shoulders, while another of his mates was whispering into the ear of the woman sat next to him. It all looked very intimate indeed.
The look of horror on everyone's face when I walked in was not pleasant. Talk about feeling out of place. Later my fella tore into me for daring to intrude and embarrass him. He claimed he was just in the middle of sealing a six-figure contract and I'd ruined everything. Contract for what? Some kind of dodgy deal? Later I heard him on the phone to one of his mates talking about me and slagging me off. What about honesty and respect within a relationship?
He says he loves me and that what we have is good, but how can I continue to sleep with a man who keeps so much from me? The other night we were making love when he suddenly said that he might have to go away for a while. Where? Do I really know who he is at all?
Jane Says:
Your fella needs to hear that you are not impressed by his current behaviour. If he has become too close to his pals; if he's now so tight with them, that you're being excluded, then that's not right. Talk to him today. Explain how much that awkward night in the restaurant upset you. Who were those women and what do they mean to him? You're supposed to be his equal. How can he allow his pals to be so controlling? And what was all that rubbish on the phone? Doesn't he understand how rude and disrespectful that was?
If he continues to defend his pals to the hilt and accuses you of invading his territory, then you'll have to think again. Even though you don't openly accuse your man or his cohorts of anything illegal or underhand, I get the strong impression that you worry about their business practices; that they might not actually be straight or above board. If this IS the case, then you need to start trusting your instincts and protecting yourself, because if he is up to something untoward the last thing you want is to be dragged down with him. Is there a trusted family member you can confide in about all of this?
Perhaps you should finally ask your guy why he stays with you. Do you provide money, domestic services or a roof over his head? If he doesn't fully value you then what's going on? What is your role in his life because, at the moment, you're definitely being sidelined.
End of the line
My girlfriend loves fun, thrills and excitement. She once confessed that she's addicted to the early 'honeymoon period' that every new relationship brings; that madly-in-love; got to get you into bed rush. We've now been together for just over a year and I can feel that our passion is cooling. It feels like she's drifting away. I've noticed that she's started checking out other guys whenever we go out. I live in fear of being dumped. There's one of my mates in particular who she is always telling me is 'so funny'. I'm paranoid that he's going to nip and grab her.
Jane Says:
You can't force a long-term commitment. Accept that you and your girl have had a great ride, but, maybe, you and she were never destined to go the distance. If she's someone who thrives on the rush of being madly in love, then that's not something that you can change. Perhaps it would be best if you finished things now so that you don't find yourself hurt or humiliated further down the line. Explain to her that you can sense she's cooling and suggest a split. Who knows? Maybe she'll surprise you by saying that you're completely crazy and you're all she's ever wanted. Whatever happens try to keep things civilised because the last thing any of us ever need is conflict and unnecessary friction.
Roundly snubbed
Recently I got off with a stranger at a party. We ended up having sex in the bathroom, which was amazing. The next day I tracked her down via a mate. I asked her out. She said that she wasn't interested in a relationship. In other words; I was okay for a quick shag but nothing more serious. Hurtful. Now I've discovered that she's dating an old pal of mine. He works nearby and I've got a horrible feeling that I'm going to keep bumping into them in town. How am I supposed to get through this rejection and humiliation when she's a liar?
Jane Says:
You've got to learn to stick your chin in the air and carry on. We all experience knock backs, but we cannot allow them to drag us down. Things didn't work out between you and this woman, but that was then and this is now. Being angry isn't going to do you any good. Be the bigger person. Say 'hello' if you bump into them and keep walking. Rise above and accept that you can't win them all. The chances are you may never actually see her again. I'm sure that they are lots of places she and her new man could go to.
Wild west
I'm attractive. I can't help it if I've got naturally blonde hair, tiny features and a curvy figure, can I? Every time I post anything on social media, I'm accused by friends of being vain. Yes, I do get sent freebies and get taken out by rich guys. But I'm still me. Why can't folk celebrate me?
Jane Says:
The world of social media is like the wild west – brutal and unforgiving. If you can't hack it, then come off it. There's no law saying that you must record every single thing you do. If friends can't be happy for you, if they get jealous, then stop putting yourself in the firing line by giving them ammunition. Sadly, life isn't always fair, so do yourself a favour and rein it in.
