Since the Greeks, we have believed that engaging with difficult emotions through fiction allows us to process them safely, writes Eleanor Gordon-Smith. But for a 17-year-old sensitive to graphic content, this raises questions about maturity.
Question from a Reader
I am 17 and feel out of step with my peers due to my aversion to drugs, alcohol, relationships, and graphic content. I tried to watch films with explicit violence or sex but felt deeply uncomfortable, as if suppressing my true self. I worry this reflects immaturity. How can I stop feeling cowardly and unready for the real world, when others seem unbothered?
Eleanor's Response
It is helpful to distinguish between things you are not ready for and things you simply do not like. For romance or sex scenes, not feeling ready is entirely normal. For violence, there are ethical questions about enjoying it at all. I share your discomfort; I once argued horror films are immoral. Why should we enjoy simulated suffering?
There are arguments: good storytelling, aesthetic interest, and the ancient Greek idea of catharsis—processing emotions in a safe space. But these are questions, not answers.
Try to separate categories like relationships, alcohol, sex, and violence. Your peers may see them differently: romance as adolescent fun, horror as thrilling. Maturity is not about forcing yourself to tolerate what you dislike. It is about learning to be yourself, kindly and intentionally.
Be calm about your feelings. Avoid swinging between self-criticism and judging others. Instead, stay curious: why do you feel this way, and how might others see things differently?
