Imagine celebrating your honeymoon not just with your new spouse, but with your entire family. For one woman, what seemed like a sentimental idea turned into a lasting regret.
Rachel Varina has opened up about her decision over a decade ago to bring her and her husband's families along on their post-wedding trip to Italy. At the time, the couple believed it was a "different, sentimental and brave" way to celebrate.
The Allure of a Group Getaway
With their wedding falling over the festive period, Rachel confessed she didn't want to miss out on cherished family Christmas traditions. The solution, they thought, was to combine the two momentous occasions. They planned their trip in two halves, beginning with a few days of newlywed solitude before their siblings flew out to join them in a large Airbnb for Christmas.
Rachel admits there were positive moments. "We laughed, wandered, and bonded. And honestly? It was beautiful. We created core memories that we still talk about to this day," she told Betches. However, the distance of time has provided a clearer, more sobering perspective.
The Harsh Reality of a Shared Honeymoon
The financial and emotional cost of the group holiday was significant. The couple used a large portion of their wedding gift money to fly their siblings out and host them. Rather than exploring new destinations as a couple, they found themselves repeating the same Rome itinerary to accommodate the larger group.
"We didn’t explore new cities or squeeze in more romance, we literally circled back to Rome and replayed the same itinerary, just with more people, more opinions, and way less sleep," Rachel recalled.
A Warning for Other Couples
Looking back, Rachel now understands her motivation was less about generosity and more about fear. She was apprehensive about the transition from her old life to her new married one, and bringing her family was a way to avoid confronting those feelings directly.
While she doesn't "totally regret it" because of the joy it brought their families at the time, her advice to other couples is clear. She now realises the profound importance of post-wedding solitude. With a calendar now full of family obligations, she understands just how sacred that initial alone time is for a new marriage.
Her conclusion is a poignant one for any soon-to-be-married couple: sometimes you have to sit in the "unfamiliar space" with your new partner and let yourself feel the full weight of the life shift, away from the well-meaning crowd.
