With nearly five decades of experience in the care sector, Mandy Kittlety has witnessed the challenges faced by carers. She has worked as a care home manager, social worker, and local authority lead, and now serves as a director at Ilarna, an online platform connecting families with independent personal assistants. Mandy, who lives in Bournemouth, also cared for her father with dementia and her mother, who had a long-term heart condition. The UK is observing Carer's Week (8-14 June) to acknowledge the estimated 12 million unpaid carers who support the struggling social care system. Research from Carers UK shows that nearly half of carers (44%) feel their role is not understood or valued. Writing exclusively for the Express, Mandy shares eight vital tips to help carers feel supported and provide the best care for their loved ones.
1. Take Time for Yourself
Caring is physically and emotionally draining. Mandy emphasizes that neglecting personal time leads to burnout. She suggests asking a neighbor to sit with your loved one for 30 minutes while you take a walk, or accepting help from relatives even if it feels uncomfortable. Small moments, like listening to music on earphones, can provide a boost. When the person you care for rests, resist the urge to do chores; instead, use that time to recharge. Even half an hour can make a significant difference.
2. Seek Financial Support
Money worries are a major stressor for carers. Mandy advises checking eligibility for Carer's Allowance (£81.90 per week) if you provide 35 hours of care weekly. Caring responsibilities may also increase entitlement to Universal Credit or housing cost assistance. The person receiving care might qualify for Personal Independence Payment (PIP) or Attendance Allowance to cover additional costs like cleaning and personal care. Organizations such as Age UK, Citizens Advice, and Carers UK can help identify available support. Smaller supports, like the CareSmart discount scheme from Carers Trust, can also add up. Local charities may offer equipment or home adaptations, and you can apply for energy discounts, a blue badge, or concessionary travel schemes.
3. Get Trusted Help When Needed
If finances allow, paid support can free up time for yourself. Using a home support service like Ilarna helps families find consistent help that respects the loved one's routines, cultural needs, and beliefs. Families can review profiles of independent personal assistants and choose who fits best, giving them greater control over the support they receive.
4. Arrange a Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) Early
Mandy stresses the importance of setting up an LPA while the loved one still has capacity. This legal document allows trusted individuals to make decisions on their behalf. There are two types: one for finances and one for health and care. The application can be completed online through the Office of the Public Guardian, with a registration fee of £82 per LPA. Having an LPA enabled Mandy to manage her father's bills and cash in Premium Bonds without delays.
5. Plan for Emergencies
Prepare an emergency folder with medication lists, GP details, routines, allergies, family contacts, and pet instructions. When Mandy's father fell ill while she was away, clear documentation helped healthcare professionals respect his wish to stay at home.
6. Get Help from Friends, Family, and Work
Instead of declining offers, be specific: ask for a weekly meal, help with school runs, or regular grocery shopping. At work, you are entitled to one week of unpaid carers leave per year, unpaid emergency time off, and flexible working requests. Employee assistance programs may offer paid counselling, and work health insurance might provide complementary therapies for stress management.
7. Consider Respite or Temporary Care
Some charities and local authorities offer respite breaks. A loved one might have a short stay in a care home, which doesn't have to be permanent. When Mandy cared for her mother, a two-week stay in a care home provided breathing space and helped her mother see that short-term care could be positive.
8. Stay Connected
Loneliness is a common struggle for carers. If getting out is difficult, invite friends over for coffee. Many charities offer virtual support groups, and services like Age UK and the Silver Line provide telephone befrienders. Online forums allow you to connect with other carers who understand your experience, reminding you that you are not alone.
