The Rise of AI-Rranged Romance: A Critique of Automated Dating
As we step into the era of AI-rranged marriages, a growing chorus of voices is expressing deep concern over the implications of artificial intelligence in the realm of human relationships. Van Badham, a prominent commentator, has articulated a scathing critique of platforms like Fate, which bill themselves as the first "agentic AI dating app." This technology promises to interview users, analyze their hopes and dreams through data matching, and suggest five potential partners based on complementary language patterns—all without the traditional swiping mechanism.
Beyond Consumer Demand: The Forced AI-ification of Dating
Badham argues that what people genuinely desired from AI in dating apps has been overshadowed by the ambitions of data-hungry corporations. Studies in Europe indicate that users primarily sought AI tools to identify fake profiles and flag toxic behavior, not to automate the entire matchmaking process. This shift mirrors broader trends across industries, where AI is imposed rather than requested, flattening human experiences into robotic transactions.
In the depths of what she terms "neo-Luddite despair," Badham notes that consumers did not actively demand this level of automation. Instead, it reflects a broader pattern where technology supersedes human needs, outsourcing the messy, wonderful weirdness that makes relationships fascinating and intimate. The Guardian's coverage of Fate and similar platforms like Sitch and Keeper in the US highlights how these apps are gaining traction, despite concerns about their impact on genuine connection.
Privacy and the Digital Surveillance State
Without robust privacy laws, users become unwitting participants in a real-time dystopian experiment. Badham points to the irony of digital Heathcliffs and text-based waifus, where intimate secrets are shared not with partners but with billionaires who own the platforms. This underscores a troubling trend: as every stray tweet can be weaponized, people are retracting into a new paranoia, undersharing to protect themselves in an age of mass digital surveillance.
The problem extends beyond dating. In education and work, AI is being adopted with a robotic efficiency that risks deadening human experience. Students learn to prompt machines rather than think critically, while professionals face AI tools that rewrite text or invent sources, as seen in academic and writing contexts. This forced AI-ification raises questions about whether humanity is losing its capacity to handle the mess and wonder of itself, with the internet often blamed for this decline.
Historical Warnings and Modern Realities
Canadian media theorist Marshall McLuhan predicted these unnatural transhuman intimacies over half a century ago, warning that interactive media would lease "our eyes and ears and nerves." His work inspired David Cronenberg's body-horror film Videodrome, a metaphor for how technology can blur reality. Today, with studies showing that platforms like X can brainwash users with hard-right content, the line between objective reality and digital fantasy is increasingly thin.
Badham reflects on the risk of falling in love with a mirror-machine—a fantasy soulmate that flatters vanities and ignores faults, devoid of the mutual self-reflection that fosters growth. While once seen as destructive digital narcissism, this may now be a self-survival instinct in a world dominated by surveillance. However, it comes at the cost of genuine intimacy, reducing profound human emotions to automated transactions in an online shop.
Regulatory Responses and Future Implications
Legal interventions may be necessary to curb these trends. A landmark case in Los Angeles argues that social media platforms are "defective products engineered to exploit vulnerabilities in young people's brains," as reported by NPR. This has inspired social media bans for children in countries like Australia and Malaysia, suggesting that governments are beginning to recognize the urgency of regulation.
Do we have to wait until AI-rranged marriage becomes commonplace before taking action? Badham urges a reevaluation of our relationship with technology, warning that without stronger laws, we risk consolidating datasets that manifest into our lives in ways we never intended. As Fate and similar apps roll out, the question remains: can we put down the remote control, or has the TV already entered the chat, reshaping romance into a loveless wasteland of consumer narcissism?
