At 31 years old, I found myself in what many would call a quarter-life crisis. Professionally burned out, emotionally drained, and navigating singlehood in a city that never sleeps, I had lost that essential spark—the very joy that makes life worth living. The relentless grind had extinguished my flame, and I knew something had to change.
The Breaking Point
Working long hours in a demanding career had left me feeling hollow. My social life consisted of rushed drinks with friends where we mostly complained about work. Dating had become another chore—swiping through profiles of equally exhausted London professionals who talked more about their careers than their passions.
It was during another sleepless night that I had my epiphany: if I wanted to rediscover joy, I needed to completely change my approach to life. And what better place to learn about living well than France—the birthplace of joie de vivre?
Paris Calling: An Unconventional Prescription
I decided to take a radical approach to healing my burnout. Rather than another meditation app or wellness retreat, I booked a series of trips to Paris with one mission: to date French men and understand their approach to life, love, and pleasure.
What unfolded was more than just a romantic adventure—it became a masterclass in living differently. French men, I discovered, approach dating not as a means to an end, but as an art form in itself.
The French Dating Philosophy
- Conversation as courtship: Unlike the rapid-fire questioning I was used to, French dates involved long, meandering conversations about art, philosophy, and personal passions
- Presence over productivity: My dates never glanced at their phones or talked about being busy—they were fully engaged in the moment
- Pleasure as priority: From the wine selection to the cheese course, enjoyment was treated as essential, not indulgent
Beyond Romance: Life Lessons in French Living
The most valuable insights extended far beyond the dating sphere. Through observing how my French companions approached their daily lives, I began adopting their attitudes toward work, food, and leisure.
I learned to savor my meals instead of eating at my desk. I started taking proper lunch breaks. I rediscovered the joy of reading for pleasure rather than professional development. Most importantly, I stopped glorifying being busy.
The Transformation
After several months of this cultural immersion, the changes were profound. The constant anxiety that had plagued me began to dissipate. I found myself laughing more genuinely, sleeping more deeply, and approaching my work with renewed creativity rather than obligation.
My French dating experiment taught me that burnout isn't just about working too hard—it's about living too narrowly. By embracing a broader definition of what makes life meaningful, I found my way back to myself.
A New Perspective on Life and Love
While I didn't find everlasting love with any of my French suitors, I discovered something perhaps more valuable: a sustainable approach to living that prioritizes pleasure, presence, and personal fulfillment.
The joie de vivre I had been searching for wasn't something to find, but something to cultivate through daily choices and attitudes. And that, as the French would say, is a lesson worth cherishing.
