Michelle Elman's Candid Health Struggle: 'I'm Not Sure I'll Make It Out of This'
This Morning star and TV life coach Michelle Elman has delivered a profoundly moving health update, confessing she is uncertain about her survival amid an ongoing battle with Hydrocephalus. In a heartfelt Instagram post on Monday, Michelle expressed that "living a long life is overrated," following five months of intensive surgeries and medical emergencies.
A Lifetime of Medical Challenges
Michelle was born with Hydrocephalus, a condition characterised by an excess of cerebrospinal fluid on the brain. Doctors later discovered she also had a congenital brain tumour, compounding her health struggles from infancy. Last week, she underwent her 19th operation, an emergency procedure that added to her extensive surgical history.
Reflecting on her ordeal, Michelle began: "Maybe living the longest isn't the goal. Excuse my morbid mindset, but it's been five months of this, and I think if I've learnt anything, it's that living a long life is overrated." She recounted multiple near-death experiences and emergency surgeries, stating that her final words before operations often expressed a desire not to live if unable to pursue her passions.
Embracing Mortality and Finding Peace
Michelle added: "I want my brain and my body to work, and if I'm confined to a hospital bed, I don't want it. If this is all the time I have left, then I am happy with that." She revealed that she never expected to live past age 21, making her current situation feel like borrowed time. "Frankly, I've had more time than I ever thought I would get, and the longer this goes on, crossing the five-month mark now, I'm not sure I'll make it out of this," she admitted.
Drawing from her experiences as a plus-sized woman who has faced online criticism, Michelle emphasised that longevity is not the ultimate aim. "There are many people who live a long life hating on others, being judgmental, cruel, or mean," she noted. "So 90 years on this Earth doesn't mean you get the most amount of life if you have spent most of that time taking it for granted—and that's one thing I have never done. I have not taken one second for granted."
A Profound Near-Death Experience
Michelle has previously shared that she flat-lined during brain surgery at age 11, an experience that shaped her perspective on death. "I had the fortunate moment at 11 years old of flatlining, floating above my body, and ever since that moment, I've believed that death is peaceful," she reflected. "Don't get me wrong, the moments before dying are incredibly painful, but just as you float out of your body, that peacefulness, that calm—it's the literal embodiment of the feeling of relief."
This awareness of mortality has helped her come to terms with her current health crisis. "I think being aware of my mortality my whole life means that over the last five months, I have come to terms with it. So if this is it for me, I have lived a good life, and it's been an honour to be surrounded by so much love," she said. While she hopes to survive, Michelle rejected the notion of "fighting to the very end," suggesting that acceptance can bring peace.
Recent Surgical Ordeals and Ongoing Battles
Michelle first opened up about needing surgery last November, revealing a new brain cyst and a malfunctioning magnet that controls fluid flow. In subsequent posts, she shared images from hospital with a heavily bandaged head, explaining a "complex" and "high-risk" operation to repair a broken tube in her brain. She humorously noted her immediate concern upon waking: "You didn't destroy my tattoos?"
Last week's emergency surgery marked her 19th procedure, leaving her with additional scars. She shared a touching photo of a bracelet made by her nephew that read "Get better," reflecting on her lengthy medical journey. "I think 19 surgeries is enough for a lifetime," she added, though the specifics of the latest operation remain unknown.
Understanding Hydrocephalus
Hydrocephalus involves a build-up of fluid in the brain, which can damage tissue and lead to symptoms like headaches, nausea, and vision problems. While often congenital, it can also result from head injuries, strokes, or tumours. Treatment typically involves shunt surgery to drain excess fluid, but if left untreated, it can be fatal due to increased pressure on the brainstem. Prognosis depends on factors like age and overall health, underscoring the severity of Michelle's condition.
Michelle's candid update highlights not only her physical struggles but also her philosophical reflections on life, death, and resilience. As she continues to navigate this challenging period, her message resonates with those facing similar battles, offering a raw and honest perspective on what it means to truly live.
