An off-duty New York Police officer, on the brink of taking his own life, experienced a profound intervention from a stranger on a train that would redefine his future. Dean Simpson, then 35, boarded an Amtrak service to upstate New York on Christmas Eve in 2001, carrying his father's Bible and a gun, intent on ending his life.
A Descent into Darkness and a Fateful Journey
Dean Simpson's life had unravelled following a series of devastating blows. The death of his father, compounded by the loss of fellow officers in the 9/11 attacks, had plunged him into a deep depression. His struggles were exacerbated by alcoholism, a disabling injury sustained after being shot on duty, a fractured relationship with his brother, and being abandoned by the woman he loved. Feeling utterly hopeless, he purchased a one-way ticket to Albany, planning to travel to Black Mountain and end his life, believing he had nothing left to live for.
His grim journey took an unexpected turn when a cheerful woman in her 60s, wearing a bright red scarf and carrying a Gucci bag, sat beside him. Despite his initially curt demeanour, she engaged him in conversation, sharing stories of her life in Saratoga and the loss of her doctor husband. As the train neared its final stop, she handed him a folded pink note, instructing him, "I don't know where you're headed, but when you get there, read this." She then gave him a hug before they parted ways.
The Message That Changed Everything
As Dean trekked along the two-and-a-half-mile trail on Black Mountain, he stopped and finally read the note. It said: 'Dean, life is a gift meant to be shared. Don't ever give up hope! Merry Christmas, Erin.' Staring at those words, he made a life-altering decision. He emptied the chamber of his gun, discarded the weapon, and turned back down the trail, his purpose renewed.
Now, 25 years later at age 59, Dean celebrates Christmas in his Florida home with his soulmate, Diana, whom he married in 2014, and his stepdaughter, Nathaly, who followed in his footsteps to become a police officer. He has dedicated his second chance at life to serving others, channelling his experiences into support for those facing similar battles.
Building a New Life of Service and Purpose
Dean's remarkable turnaround is evidenced by his extensive volunteer work. He supports the Palm Beach County Veterans Court, acting as a mentor to veterans navigating the legal system, helping them with employment and homelessness issues. The programme boasts a recidivism rate of less than 5 percent. He also volunteers as a reading pal in Broward County schools and at his local hospital.
He has channelled his journey into writing, publishing five books. His memoir, 'The Blue Pawn', details his hardships and the pivotal moment on the train. He has also written theological works and sentimental books about his wife, titled 'Gardenia’s Garden: Trusting in God’s Path', and his stepdaughter, 'Project Nathaly: Learning How to Be a Stepfather Without Completely Screwing Up'.
His relationship with Nathaly, now a police officer, healed profoundly over time. After a period of struggle where she did not want him at her high school graduation, she later asked him to pin her shield on her uniform at her police academy graduation—a moment of immense pride and reconciliation for the family.
Despite his recovery, Dean acknowledges the holidays remain difficult. He strongly advocates for professional counselling and open conversation, warning against isolation. "Other people can see it easier than you could see it yourself," he advised. "Don't wait. Because you're not gonna see it. My advice is to talk to people."
He still keeps Erin's original pink note tucked in his Bible and a framed photo of it in his office. Despite efforts to find her, her identity remains a mystery, a guardian angel whose single act of kindness redirected a life. His story stands as a powerful testament to human connection and the impact of reaching out, especially during the festive season.
