ADHD Mother's Personal Journey Reveals Family Challenges and Systemic Pressures
A new study published in the Lancet has highlighted a dramatic surge in ADHD diagnoses across Britain, with adult women taking medication for Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder experiencing a staggering 20-fold increase. This research from Oxford University examined medication prescriptions across five European countries between 2010 and 2023, revealing the UK has witnessed the highest relative increase in ADHD medication usage.
From Personal Struggle to Professional Support
Lauren O'Carroll, a 41-year-old mother from Cambridge, has lived experience that mirrors these statistical trends. Diagnosed with ADHD at age 21, Lauren initially learned to manage her condition through careful lifestyle adjustments, maintaining what appeared from the outside as a successful career and independent life. However, this delicate balance collapsed when her responsibilities increased dramatically.
"I learned to build a life that worked with my brain and was able to stop using medication for periods of time," Lauren explained. "From the outside, I looked successful: a good career, strong friendships, independence. Inside, everything relied on careful balance but it was working. That balance collapsed when my responsibilities increased and support decreased."
The Parenting Pressure Cooker
Lauren's journey took a particularly challenging turn when she had to stop her ADHD medication during fertility treatment. Seven years later, she found herself managing two young children, a demanding NHS role, household responsibilities, and two daughters who showed clear signs of neurodivergence.
"Like many girls, my children masked brilliantly at school and nursery. Teachers didn't see a problem," Lauren revealed. "But masking comes at a cost. When they got home – to the place they felt safest – the emotional overload poured out in meltdowns, tears and explosive behaviour."
This created what Lauren describes as a perfect storm of overwhelmed nervous systems reaching breaking point simultaneously. "What looked like 'bad parenting' was actually two overwhelmed nervous systems hitting breaking point. As the pressure on my children grew, so did the pressure on me. I swung between gentle parenting and sudden rage, exhausted and ashamed."
Systemic Challenges and Private Solutions
The Oxford University study confirms that the increase in ADHD medication is most pronounced in adults, with researchers noting "a more than 20-fold increase in females and 15-fold in males" among those over 25. Experts attribute this dramatic rise to better awareness and recognition of the condition, particularly in women who have historically been underdiagnosed.
Lauren's family experienced firsthand the challenges of accessing support through the NHS. Her children faced extensive waiting lists for diagnosis, forcing her to seek private assessments at considerable personal expense. "Because NHS waiting lists stretched into years," she explained. "It took two more years before I finally accessed shared care through the NHS via the right to choose pathway."
At one point, Lauren was spending approximately £500 monthly on private ADHD care, including prescription fees, mandatory reviews, and medication. "I had my eldest daughter assessed privately at seven as school refused to refer her. My youngest has been on an NHS waiting list since the age of five."
Transforming Experience into Expertise
At age 37, Lauren made the decision to restart her ADHD medication, which she says "gave me the clarity to understand what was happening in our home, helped me to regulate my emotions better." This clarity prompted her to undertake extensive research and professional development.
"I read every book, took every course, and eventually retrained as a parenting coach specialising in ADHD families because I knew one thing for certain: this wasn't just happening to us," Lauren stated.
She now runs Positively Parenting, an initiative dedicated to supporting families navigating ADHD challenges. Lauren has also authored a book titled You're Not a Sht Parent, You Just Have ADHD, which aims to provide understanding, practical tools, and hope to parents awaiting formal support.
Broader Context and National Review
This personal story unfolds against a backdrop of significant systemic challenges. The Government has launched a national review into rising demand for mental health, ADHD, and autism services. This review will examine diagnosis rates, potential over-diagnosis concerns, and NHS delays in providing vital support.
Some politicians and experts have criticised what they perceive as overdiagnosis of ADHD, suggesting society may be "medicalising" normal life struggles. However, campaigners and those with lived experience strongly contest this perspective, arguing instead that the real issue lies with extensive NHS backlogs preventing timely diagnosis and support for families in crisis.
"Around 80% of ADHD diagnoses are still made in boys, yet we now know ADHD doesn't disappear in girls – it simply goes unnoticed," Lauren emphasised. "Late diagnosis doesn't just affect adults; it affects entire families."
For Lauren and many others, diagnosis represents not limitation but liberation. "Diagnosis hasn't labelled us. It has protected us. It has given us language, access to support and relief from the quiet parental gaslighting so many families endure."
The conversation around ADHD continues to evolve as awareness grows and more families share their experiences, highlighting both personal resilience and systemic challenges within Britain's healthcare and support services.
