In today's fast-paced world, stress has become an almost universal experience, leading to a host of physiological and emotional problems. When your usual coping mechanisms fail, what can you do to regain control? We asked leading psychotherapists for their most effective, and sometimes surprising, techniques for managing stress in the moment and building long-term resilience.
Recognising Stress and Knowing When to Seek Help
When we are stressed, our body undergoes physiological changes as part of our fight or flight response, explains Hannah Stebbings, an integrative therapist at Priory Hospital Barnt Green in Birmingham. This triggers an increased heart rate and the release of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, which flood the body.
This hormonal surge causes physical symptoms such as headaches or digestive issues, alongside emotional signs like irritability, anxiety, low mood, and a lack of motivation. You might find yourself withdrawing from social situations or becoming snappier with loved ones and colleagues.
Lauren Baird, a psychotherapist from Glasgow, emphasises that dealing with the stressor is different from dealing with the stress itself, which is the physiological response in your body. Stress that isn't properly processed can linger in your system, she warns, which is why understanding nervous system regulation is so crucial.
If you feel completely overwhelmed, seeking professional help is vital. Stebbings recommends starting with your GP to access NHS talking therapies. The Hub of Hope online directory is also an excellent resource for finding local mental health services. In a crisis where you do not feel safe, call 999 immediately.
If therapy is not accessible, simply talking to a trusted friend, relative, or colleague can work wonders for your mental health, advises psychotherapist Niro Feliciano. Social connection is a powerful antidote to the isolation that often exacerbates stress.
Immediate Techniques to Calm Your Nervous System
When stress hits hard and fast, having a toolkit of instant calming methods can be a lifesaver. Here are some of the most effective strategies recommended by therapists.
Breathwork is fundamental. Focusing on a longer exhalation stimulates the vagus nerve, a key part of the parasympathetic system that regulates involuntary functions, says Feliciano. This scientific approach takes you out of the fear-centric amygdala and back into the logical prefrontal cortex.
Stebbings recommends the 4/7/8 breathing technique: inhale for four seconds, hold for seven, and exhale for eight seconds as if blowing out candles. This quickly activates your body's natural soothe system.
Cognitive techniques can also halt a spiral of negative thoughts. Stebbings uses cognitive restructuring, which involves challenging unhelpful thoughts by examining the evidence for and against them. Another simple but powerful method is to preface a stressful thought with I'm having a thought that... which creates psychological distance.
For a more physical jolt out of a panicked state, cold water therapy can be remarkably effective. Splashing your face, holding an ice cube, or taking a brief cold shower shocks the body, activating the parasympathetic nervous system and breaking the cycle of spiralling thoughts.
Baird suggests an even more primal release: shake your body vigorously like a dog shaking off water. This helps to discharge the pent-up survival energy of the fight-or-flight response. Even five minutes of star jumps or other movement can release endorphins and promote healthier emotions.
Lifestyle Adjustments for Long-Term Stress Management
Beyond immediate fixes, cultivating daily habits that minimise stress is key to sustainable mental wellbeing. Your diet plays a significant role. Your gut holds about 95% of your serotonin, notes Stebbings, highlighting the direct link between gut health and mental state via the vagus nerve. Feliciano advises cutting down on processed foods and sugar and instead eating the rainbow of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.
Prioritising sleep is non-negotiable. Sleep is your body's reset button, says Stebbings, who recommends seven to nine hours per night with a consistent routine, as poor sleep directly amplifies stress hormones.
Our relationship with technology is another critical area. Feliciano warns that the high hits of dopamine from screens lead to a compensatory crash, resulting in lower resilience and increased anxiety. She suggests putting your phone on grayscale mode to make it less stimulating and using apps like Opal to set boundaries. Baird strongly advises keeping phones out of the bedroom to protect sleep quality.
Making time for genuine joy is essential. Baird champions creative hobbies like art, music, or dancing purely for the enjoyment of the process, not for achievement. She also emphasises the profound physiological release of a deep, genuine belly laugh with friends.
Finally, learning to set boundaries is paramount to preventing burnout. Whether during the hectic Christmas season or in daily life, Feliciano advises identifying your top priorities and having the courage to say no to anything that threatens your ability to enjoy them fully. By doing less, you might just find you feel more joyful.
