A hospice nurse who has supported over three hundred people during their final moments has revealed the seven most common regrets expressed by individuals on their deathbeds. The nurse, known only as Laura M, dedicated fifteen years to end of life care, witnessing the profound reflections of those transitioning between life and death.
The Seven Heartbreaking Regrets
Laura discovered that her role extended far beyond medical care and paperwork. She found herself becoming a witness to people's deepest fears, dreams, and reflections. Inspired by these conversations, she began documenting their words and identified seven recurring themes of regret that emerged time and again.
What she uncovered was both haunting and hopeful: most people don't actually fear dying itself, but rather fear not having truly lived. Through different voices and stories, the same fundamental truths about human existence kept appearing.
I Should Have Loved More—and Differently
One particularly memorable case involved George, a 92-year-old World War 2 hero who had been estranged from his brother for forty years. Laura recalls him whispering, 'I won the argument, but I lost a lifetime.' His story illustrates a powerful lesson: no one dies wishing they had been harder on others, but many regret moments when they chose not to be kind.
Thomas Blake, author of Everyday Health Tips, suggests practical steps to avoid this regret: 'Send the message. Make the call. Don't wait for the funeral to say what love demands now.'
I Saved My Joy for Later—and Later Never Came
Laura shares the story of a retired engineer who told her, 'I was so scared of being poor that I became rich in fear.' Tragically, he died just three months after retiring, never having the opportunity to enjoy the savings he had worked his entire life to accumulate.
This case highlights how people often postpone happiness until after certain milestones, but life doesn't always honour those timelines. The lesson is clear: let joy become your default, not your reward.
Forgiveness Set Me Free More Than Oxygen Did
Laura observed that while some people make holding grudges a lifestyle choice, the approach of death often makes forgiveness easier. One dying patient chose to forgive her estranged son because she 'couldn't die angry.' Remarkably, she passed away just thirty minutes after their unexpected reconciliation.
This demonstrates that unforgiveness doesn't punish others—it poisons you. For those struggling with past betrayals, writing a letter of forgiveness can help release these toxic feelings. As Blake notes, 'Peace isn't a prize. It's a release.'
The Best Things in Life Were Free—and I Was Too Busy to Notice
In their final moments, people rarely dwell on their career successes or material possessions. Instead, they mention missing simple pleasures like 'the smell of rain, the sound of birds, my dog's breath in the morning.' One CEO confessed to Laura, 'I mistook being busy for being alive.'
To avoid this regret, Blake suggests unplugging from technology for a day and consciously noticing how many moments make you smile without screens or money.
Regret Is the Heaviest Thing to Carry
Many elderly people advise that it's better to regret things you did do rather than things you didn't—a theme that emerged strongly from Laura's experiences. One patient told her, 'I didn't regret failing—I regretted never auditioning.'
To address this, try writing down the three things you'd most regret not doing in your lifetime, then take concrete steps to begin the first one before the week ends.
Presence Is the Greatest Gift You Can Give
Laura claims the saddest sound in a hospice ward isn't the flatlining heart monitor, but rather the 'phone vibrating beside an empty chair.' One father expressed deep regret about his lack of attention to loved ones, even when physically present, saying, 'I was always somewhere else—even when I was home.'
Blake describes distraction as 'the modern disease of the living, we scroll through life like it's rehearsal.' To combat this, put your phone down, listen fully, and engage in meals and activities without distractions.
Peace Comes When You Stop Pretending
The final common regret Laura identified was people spending their lives pretending to be someone they weren't. She recalls one woman removing her wig and declaring, 'Finally, I'm done pretending.'
This underscores the importance of authenticity and letting people see the real you. Being true to yourself makes life genuinely fulfilling rather than performing a role for others.
Through her fifteen years of service and more than three hundred deaths, Laura M has provided invaluable insight into what truly matters at life's end. Her observations serve as a powerful reminder to live authentically, love generously, and appreciate the present moment.
