Izzy Judd, the violinist and author married to McFly drummer Harry Judd, has revealed that one of her children shows traits of pathological demand avoidance (PDA), a behavioural profile linked to autism. Speaking on Dr Alex George's Stompcast podcast, she said the condition makes everyday tasks overwhelming and has forced her to rethink her parenting style.
PDA is characterised by an extreme avoidance of demands, driven by high anxiety. Izzy explained that simple requests like brushing teeth or saying 'please' and 'thank you' can cause distress. She has stopped giving direct commands, opting for flexibility instead. 'To outsiders, it might look like lazy parenting or a lack of discipline,' she said, 'but for our family, it's about maintaining calm.'
The couple share three children: Lola, eight, Kit, seven, and Lockie, three. Earlier this year, Izzy revealed their daughter is neurodivergent. She described the parenting journey as 'overwhelming' and 'all-consuming,' but said it has taught her to let go of comparisons. 'I let go of being late a long time ago,' she added. 'The more pressure you feel, the more it slows everything down.'
Izzy noted that societal expectations often clash with raising neurodivergent children. 'There are quite rigid expectations of how children should behave,' she said. 'For a neurodivergent child, it's not that they won't sit still – they physically can't.' She said her family no longer attends birthday parties because 'no one was enjoying them,' and even gift-giving is adapted: 'If we wrap a present, we'll say what's inside. Not knowing is a big demand.'
According to Autism.org.uk, demand avoidance is a recognised characteristic in some autistic people, but the label PDA is controversial and not clinically recognised in diagnostic manuals. There is little high-quality research on the condition. Fans praised Izzy's honesty, with many neurodivergent parents saying her words resonated. Harry's mother, Emma, commented: 'Good points to highlight and remind us to take care of ourselves.'
