The guest list for a wedding can be a minefield, but the invitation list for the hen party often proves even more contentious. This delicate pre-wedding ritual has been thrown into the spotlight after influencer Holly Ramsay, daughter of celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay, did not invite her future mother-in-law to her celebration at the exclusive Soho Farmhouse.
While Holly's event was attended by her mother Tana, her sisters Megan and Tilly, and even fashion icon Victoria Beckham, one notable family member was absent. Adam Peaty's mother, Caroline, 60, remained at her home in Staffordshire, though his sister Bethany did join the well-heeled gathering. This selective invitation has ignited a public conversation about the often-unwritten rules governing these celebrations.
When Hen Parties Go Wrong: Tales of MIL Drama
The potential for friction is not merely theoretical, as numerous anonymous accounts reveal. One former bridesmaid shared a harrowing story with the Daily Mail, recalling how a hen do in the city ended with her being threatened by the bride's mother-in-law. "An innocent disagreement with her daughter... led the incensed mother-in-law, in her 50s, to whisper in my ear, 'I know where you all live'," she recounted. The situation was only resolved when the intoxicated mother-in-law was persuaded to leave, though she later insisted she was in the right.
Another bride took to Reddit to explain how her mother-in-law 'ruined' her entire hen weekend. The drama culminated in the groom's mother getting the bride's grandmother so inebriated that she fell and broke her arm. To make matters worse, the mother-in-law took unflattering photos and videos of the grandmother in her compromised state and threatened to post them online. The bride described how her mother-in-law then physically pushed her own mother out of the way to secure a seat in a taxi, leaving the injured grandmother to wait.
Expert Advice on Navigating the Hen Party Guest List
So, what is the correct protocol? Wedding expert Gemma Logan from hen do planning company The Foxy Hen advises that the decision hinges entirely on the nature of the event and the relationship between the bride and her future mother-in-law.
"It's best not to invite a mother-in-law if the hen do is going to be full-on, cheeky or particularly raucous," Logan told the Daily Mail. "If there will be games, costumes, naughtiness or a lot of drinking, it can make everyone a little self-conscious." She emphasised that if there is existing tension, an invitation can create stress on a day that should feel carefree.
Logan did note, however, that inviting a future sister-in-law, as Holly Ramsay did, is "completely fine" when the groom's mother isn't attending. "The two relationships are very different. Sisters often feel like part of the friend group and can join in easily without it feeling formal," she explained.
Setting Boundaries and Finding Compromises
For brides feeling pressured to issue an invitation against their better judgement, Logan's advice is clear: remember the hen do is your celebration. "A polite but firm explanation works wonders," she recommended, suggesting a separate, more intimate lunch or pamper day with the mother-in-law as an alternative to include her without compromising the party's atmosphere.
"Brides often worry about upsetting people, but setting boundaries early prevents much bigger issues later. It's all about honesty wrapped in kindness," Logan added. A popular modern solution is the two-part event, with a family-friendly daytime gathering followed by a livelier evening with friends, ensuring everyone is included without blurring social boundaries.
Ultimately, the key to a successful hen party lies in transparency and prioritising the bride's comfort. As the case of Holly Ramsay and Caroline Peaty illustrates, navigating family politics is an intrinsic, and often the most challenging, part of pre-wedding planning.
