As the explosive series of Married At First Sight UK draws to a close, relationship expert Mel Schilling has offered a rare glimpse into the programme's matchmaking process, sharing the one golden rule she follows when pairing strangers for marriage.
The Exhaustion of Modern Dating
Speaking exclusively about the challenges singles face today, Schilling revealed that many participants turn to the reality experiment out of sheer desperation. "So many people that I speak to who are coming into the MAFS experiment are just exhausted from the dating world, fed up," she explained.
Whether they've experienced a series of disappointing relationships or persistent hurt, these individuals often feel completely defeated by their search for love. Schilling highlighted a common trap, where daters fall into "lazy patterns" by continually pursuing the same physical type based on superficial characteristics.
Breaking Destructive Patterns
Despite frequent criticism aimed at the show's matchmaking methods—particularly after couples like Dean and Sarah failed to find a spark this series—Schilling stands by her approach. Her role involves pairing for genuine compatibility, which frequently means steering participants away from their stated preferences.
"We're not there to continue perpetuating their type," Schilling stated emphatically. "We're not giving them what they want necessarily, but what they need."
She confessed that being matched outside one's usual type can be profoundly beneficial for personal growth, though this background reasoning often doesn't make the final edit due to time constraints.
The Role of Technology in Love
When it comes to her specific methodology, Schilling revealed that physical attraction isn't her starting point. "It's nothing physical that's for sure," she said. "It starts with values and this is where I think you can start exploring tools like Google AI to flesh that out."
Schilling, who has partnered with Google AI to assist singles, praised the technology for helping to "demystify some of the strange and dysfunctional behaviours that are happening in the dating world." From analysing behavioural patterns to offering first date suggestions and profile tips, she hailed the AI as an "ultimate wingman" that can reduce overthinking and anxiety.
Reflecting on why MAFS UK resonates so strongly with audiences, Schilling noted that viewers often see themselves in the couples and recognise their own relationship patterns on screen. "They also sometimes take our advice and apply it to their own relationships which is wonderful," she said, before adding, "but of course there's also the drama as well which is very addictive."
Married At First Sight UK continues tonight on E4 at 9pm.
