In a remarkably candid and moving revelation, beloved BBC Radio 2 host Zoe Ball has shared how the simple, grounding act of gardening became her vital anchor through the storm of unimaginable grief.
The television and radio star is reflecting on the tragic loss of her boyfriend, cameraman Billy Yates, who took his own life in May 2017 at the age of 40. Ball, 52, has described the period following his death as "the toughest of my life," a journey through darkness where she often struggled to find a reason to get out of bed.
Finding Peace Among the Petals
Amid the overwhelming pain, Ball discovered an unexpected source of solace: her garden. She credits the methodical, life-affirming work of planting and nurturing with saving her sanity. Tending to the soil became a form of active meditation, a way to process her sorrow when words failed.
"It sounds so simple, but it gave me a focus, a purpose when I felt I had none," Ball explains. "Getting my hands dirty, watching something grow... it was a tiny victory in a world that felt utterly defeated."
A Living Memorial to Love
Her garden has since evolved into a beautiful, living tribute to Billy. She has dedicated specific areas to his memory, planting his favourite flowers and creating a serene space for quiet reflection. It's a place where she feels connected to him, a testament to the life they should have had together.
"He would have loved to see it," she says, her voice softening. "It’s my way of keeping him close, of creating something beautiful from the pain."
Breaking the Silence on Mental Health
By speaking out, Ball hopes to chip away at the stigma surrounding mental health struggles and suicide. She emphasises the importance of talking, of reaching out, and of finding healthy coping mechanisms, however unconventional they may seem.
Her story is a powerful reminder that healing is not linear and that grief can manifest in countless ways. For Zoe Ball, the path forward was found not in grand gestures, but in the quiet, hopeful rhythm of nature—planting one seed at a time.
