Louis Tomlinson has opened up about struggling to come to terms with the death of Liam Payne, saying he will 'never accept' what happened. The One Direction star, 33, spoke to The Independent ahead of the first anniversary of Payne's death on October 16, 2024, when he fell from a hotel balcony in Buenos Aires, Argentina.
Tomlinson admitted he naively thought his previous experiences with grief would help him cope, having lost his mother Johannah Deakin to leukaemia in 2016 and his sister Félicité to an accidental overdose in 2019. 'I thought that might mean something, but it didn't at all,' he said. 'It was really, really, impossibly difficult for me to deal with losing Liam.'
The singer also reflected on the 15th anniversary of One Direction's formation in July, which brought up 'unwanted feelings'. He told Rolling Stone: 'There's still a level in my head [where it feels] unjust and frustrating that he's not with us anymore.' Tomlinson described Payne as the 'most vital part' of the band in his original tribute, praising his 'perfect pitch' and 'gift for writing'.
Fellow bandmates Harry Styles, Niall Horan and Zayn Malik have also paid tribute. Horan, who saw Payne shortly before his death, wrote: 'I feel so fortunate that I got to see him recently. I sadly didn't know that after saying goodbye and hugging him that evening, I would be saying goodbye forever.' Malik has dedicated recent tour shows to Payne, and will reunite with Tomlinson for a Netflix documentary next year.
Payne's sisters Nicola Payne and Ruth Gibbins also marked the anniversary, with Ruth describing being 'paralysed' by grief daily. She shared that she suffers from recurring nightmares of being in his hotel room, unable to reach him.
