Valerie Bertinelli Opens Up About Her Marriage to Eddie Van Halen in Candid New Memoir
Valerie Bertinelli has offered a deeply personal and revealing account of her two-decade marriage to the late rock legend Eddie Van Halen in her newly released memoir, Getting Naked: The Quiet Work of Becoming Perfectly Imperfect. The 65-year-old actress, who was married to Van Halen from 1981 until their separation in 2001, with their divorce finalized in 2007, provides heartfelt reflections on their complex relationship and enduring bond.
A Marriage Marked by Love and Challenges
Bertinelli, who was just 20 years old when she married the 27-year-old Van Halen guitarist, describes a union that began with intense passion but later devolved into difficulties. "It became nothing that makes you feel loved and wanted and cared for. Nothing that would scream soulmate, that's for sure," she writes candidly about the later years of their marriage. Despite these challenges, she emphasizes Van Halen's fundamental character, penning, "He wanted to be the right person, the good person that he already was. His heart was always pure. He was such a good man."
Final Moments and Lasting Forgiveness
The memoir includes poignant details about Van Halen's final days before his death in 2020 at age 65 from a stroke and throat cancer. Bertinelli recalls their last Thanksgiving together, where they shared a moment of profound reconciliation. "At the last Thanksgiving we shared, he took me outside and opened his heart in a way he said was way past due. We both did. We found a place of deep love and forgiveness for our past mistakes," she reveals. Her final words to him as he took his last breaths in the hospital were simply, "I love you."
The Central Role of Their Son Wolfgang
A significant theme throughout Bertinelli's reflections is the couple's shared love for their son, Wolfgang Van Halen, now 34. She admits to parental regrets, stating after watching Wolfgang's Behind The Music episode, "I made a lot of mistakes. I'd stopped it many times because it was just too brutal to watch for many reasons. One, seeing Wolfie's pain. Two, seeing what a better job I could have done as a parent even though he turned out magnificently." Yet, she affirms, "What we had together was this beautiful son that we both unconditionally loved."
The Healing Power of Writing and Public Revelation
Bertinelli announced her book in early October, describing it as "my heart broken wide open" and a collection of intimate essays exploring aging, love, friendship, secrets, and acceptance. She expressed that writing the memoir was a therapeutic process, noting, "I didn’t even realize how much I needed to write this book until I started. It helped heal something in me that I’m not sure I would’ve been able to do without writing it." Her hope is that it inspires readers to resist negative thoughts and self-judgment.
Following Van Halen's death, Bertinelli's perspective shifted, and she found herself grieving deeply for a man she hadn't lived with for two decades. "I was more than willing to put myself in the grieving widow category for a man that I hadn't lived with for 20 years," she admitted, highlighting the lasting emotional connection that transcended their divorce.
