Woman, 34, Feels Like a Mother to Her 37-Year-Old Partner
A 34-year-old woman has turned to the internet for guidance after revealing that her 37-year-old partner's behaviour leaves her feeling more like a parent than an equal in their relationship. The individual, who has been dating her partner for nearly a year, expressed feeling "exhausted" and "drained" due to her partner's lack of responsibility and emotional demands.
Emotional and Practical Burden in the Relationship
In a post on Reddit's r/relationship forum, the woman detailed how she has become the sole adult in the partnership. She works, studies, saves for the future, and handles all planning, while her partner lives a "day-to-day" existence without savings or ambition. Her partner resides at her brother's home, where she avoids household responsibilities, expecting the woman to manage all adult tasks.
The emotional toll is equally significant, as the partner frequently unloads insecurities, such as unfounded jealousy or tears over perceived lack of affection. Despite the woman having undergone therapy to address her own issues, her partner refuses to seek help, turning the woman into an "unpaid therapist" who witnesses a version of her younger, unhealed self.
Conflict and Diminishing Attraction
The situation worsens during conflicts, where the partner avoids accountability and even blames the woman for reckless actions, like dangerous driving in stormy weather. This dynamic has eroded the woman's attraction, making intimacy feel impossible as she feels compelled to mother and reassure her partner constantly.
"My attraction to her is at zero," she confessed, noting that pressure for sex or validation only intensifies her desire to escape the relationship. The sole factor keeping her involved is her partner's mother, who provides support and treats her better than her own partner does, making a potential breakup feel like losing a family home.
Community Response and Advice
Online responders were largely pessimistic about salvaging the relationship. One commenter asserted that once "the ick has set in," recovery is unlikely, advising that finding a supportive partner would ease the pain of losing the family connection. Another agreed, stating that feeling like a parent instead of a partner signals the relationship's end.
A third responder echoed this sentiment, suggesting the woman is "delaying the inevitable" and deserves a true partner, not a "womanchild." They proposed maintaining contact with the partner's mother post-breakup if circumstances allow, but emphasised that the relationship itself appears beyond repair.
The woman's central question remains: Can a relationship be fixed when respect for a partner's maturity is lost, or is fear of losing family ties prolonging the inevitable? The consensus leans toward the latter, highlighting the challenges of partnerships where emotional and practical imbalances create a parental dynamic.
