After seven years working as a barista in cafes across two UK cities, a former hospitality worker is breaking the silent code. Vita Molyneux, who documented her experiences on January 9, 2026, argues that a mandatory stint in service would make the world a more polite place.
The Unspoken Rules of the Coffee Counter
Molyneux describes how baristas and their colleagues maintain a veneer of politeness while often seething inside. She reveals four key insights that customers are rarely, if ever, privy to, born from countless interactions with what she calls "the dregs of humanity".
1. Don't Claim to Be a Regular Prematurely
Baristas have a keen memory for loyal customers, but that loyalty must be earned. Walking into a cafe twice in two months and asking for "the usual" creates an awkward standoff. True regulars are recognised, and their orders are often started as soon as they are spotted approaching. This perk comes from genuine familiarity, not from a customer demanding it.
2. Let Your Barista Work in Peace
The morning rush is a high-pressure ballet of espresso shots and steamed milk. When a customer stares from the queue or, worse, approaches the machine to ask if a drink being made is theirs, it breaks concentration. As Molyneux explains, announcing a finished drink like "Flat white for Richard" only to be met with "Is that a dry cappuccino for Sandra?" is a classic frustration that disrupts the workflow for everyone.
3. Yes, We Judge Your Bizarre Coffee Order
While no one minds a simple dairy alternative or adjusting shot strength, certain elaborate orders do attract silent judgement. The example given is a "half-shot decaf, half-shot full-caff, dry soy cappuccino." Such convoluted requests are seen as a nuisance. The article singles out any 'dry' drink order as particularly worthy of an internal eye-roll from the person making it.
4. Petty Revenge for the Truly Rude
For the consistently vile customer, baristas have their own subtle ways of fighting back. Molyneux confesses to the motto "BGD" or "b**** gets decaf." This, along with "forgetting" sugar or letting an espresso shot run too long, were harmless but satisfying retaliations against patrons who treated staff "like the muck on your shoe."
A Lesson in Universal Courtesy
The core argument from this seven-year veteran is that everyone should work a year in retail or hospitality. Once you've been on the receiving end of sheer audacity and impoliteness, you become a model customer. Molyneux believes that if this mindset were universal, daily interactions would be far more considerate and efficient for all involved.
