Renting a room from a friend, or a 'friendlord', has become increasingly common amid the UK's housing crisis, but experts warn it can lead to power imbalances, feuds and even unfair evictions. According to flatsharing website SpareRoom, there was an 89% increase in homeowners taking in lodgers in the three years to January 2024, driven by rising living costs. While the arrangement can seem like a perfect compromise, it often strains friendships.
Rachel, a pseudonym, moved into a childhood friend's home after being made redundant. She paid market-rate rent but found herself doing more than her share of housework and obeying idiosyncratic rules, such as no laundry in common areas and no strong kitchen smells. The breaking point came when a broken door lock was blamed on her, and she was charged for the repair. 'I realised what had been obvious the whole time,' she says. 'Maya treated me like a friend only when it suited her. Otherwise, I was her tenant.'
Emily has lived with her friendlord for three years but struggles to feel at home. She keeps her photos off the fridge and avoids confronting her friend about missing food. The implicit hierarchy extends to the bathroom towel rail, where her friend's towel goes on the top rung. 'No friend should know how much toilet paper the other uses,' Emily says. Despite the tensions, she acknowledges her rent is a bargain.
For others, the risks are worth it. Helen rents from a friend who drew up a formal agreement. 'When it's a friend, you know – or you hope – that you're not going to be totally screwed over,' she says. However, experts caution that without clear rules, the power imbalance can damage or destroy friendships. As one renter put it, 'I don't think I want a friend who would do that to me – or anyone else.'
