Buying a loved one a weight-loss tea or gym membership for Christmas, however well-intentioned, is a terrible idea that can seriously damage your relationship, according to a new scientific study.
Research from Florida International University has found that self-improvement gifts frequently make recipients feel judged and inadequate, rather than loved and appreciated. The study, published in the Journal of Retailing, involved five experiments with a total of 1,340 participants.
The Psychology of a Poorly Received Present
In one of the tests, participants were given a 'Get Lean' weight-loss tea instead of a simple Moroccan tea. In another, some received an 'Elevate Communication Skills' calendar, which prompted them to 'practice empathy', while others got a neutral 'Did You Know?' trivia calendar.
The results were consistently negative for the self-improvement items. People who received the self-improvement gift consistently rated it lower, spoke about it less positively, and were more likely to agree with negative online reviews for those products.
Interestingly, this negative effect completely disappeared when people purchased the exact same products for themselves. The issue isn't the product, but the social meaning behind receiving it as a gift.
When a Gift Signals Disapproval
Dr Linnéa Chapman, the study's author, explained the core problem. 'Gifts are supposed to signal love and generosity,' she said. 'But a self-improvement gift can threaten someone's view of themselves as lovable and acceptable as they are. It challenges a very basic social need—to be valued without conditions.'
The study identified a whole range of commonly marketed 'self-improvement' gifts that risk causing offence. These include gift cards for Peloton, Fitbit watches, gym memberships, weight-loss teas, pre-packed healthy meals, Botox vouchers, and self-help books.
Marketing often encourages this trend. One message cited in the research advised, 'Men, have you heard? Botox is the new flowers. Please gift accordingly.' Similarly, FitBit has run Mother's Day promotions stating: 'Celebrate who she is today and help her reach her goals tomorrow.'
The analysis showed that two-thirds of participants had received a self-improvement product as a present, with self-help books, meditation app subscriptions, and gym memberships being the most common.
A Warning for Retailers and Gift-Givers
The researchers offer a clear warning for both consumers and retailers ahead of the festive season. 'Self-improvement gifts might miss the mark by suggesting that recipients are not good enough as they are,' the team wrote.
Dr Chapman used a powerful analogy: 'A yoga mat in January says, 'I'm motivated'. A yoga mat under the Christmas tree might say 'You need to lose weight'.'
The negative reviews that often follow these gifts are likely driven by hurt feelings. 'The intention may be positive, but these gifts can imply that you're not good enough as you are,' Dr Chapman added. 'This can sting, and people take out their hurt feelings on the products, for example by giving them low star ratings.'
The study suggests that retailers should reconsider promoting self-help items like fitness equipment as holiday gifts. Instead, they could shift these campaigns to January, when consumers are focused on their own New Year's resolutions.
The ultimate advice from the researchers is simple: 'When it comes to self-improvement products, it's better to stick to buying them for yourself.'
